Moments
by SydneyAlice
Summary: She's a college student working toward a dream. He's a man walking away from the only dream he's ever known. There are moments that can change your life forever. This is their moment.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello beautiful people! It's been too long, and I've missed you more than you can imagine.**

**As of now, I plan to update weekly. Maybe more, depending on my schedule. As some of you know, I'm working on my first novel, so that's keeping me super busy, but I've missed you guys and wanted to write you a little something.**

**It won't be super angsty, although it starts out a little dramatic. If you know me at all, you know how it'll end. If you haven't read my stories, I'm a happy-ever-after kind of girl, so trust me. :)**

**Disclaimer: All mistakes are mine, and the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

"Can I get you more coffee, Mr. O'Malley?"

The old man shook his head and placed a twenty on the counter.

"I'm headed home. Keep the change, Bella."

I smiled and thanked him for the tip. My regulars knew I was working my way through college by waiting tables at this greasy diner. I was thankful for the job, and I was grateful to my sweet customers who tipped me outrageously for something as simple as a cup of decaf.

I glanced at my watch and sighed with relief. It was nearly closing time, and my tired body was ready for a bubble bath and a glass of cheap wine. With renewed energy that only comes at the end of my shift, I grabbed a rag and began to wipe the counter. The place was blissfully empty, which would make closing that much easier.

_Ten minutes. If only the customers will stay away for ten more minutes._

But no, the universe was cruel.

At five minutes until closing time, he walked in. Without a glance toward the tired waitress desperate to lock the doors, he found a stool at the end of the counter.

Sighing, I grabbed the coffee pot and a mug before making my way over to him.

"I'm afraid the grill is closed," I said in apology. "It's nearly closing time, and all we have is coffee and pie."

The man said nothing. He simply stared ahead with glazed eyes as I poured a cup of decaf. His rude silence gave me the chance to really check him out. He had a wild head of bronze hair and the kind of sculpted cheekbones you'd expect to see on the face of a runway model. His eyes, as lifeless as they were, were a beautiful shade of green.

Despite all of that perfection, he looked like absolute shit.

His clothes looked as if he'd slept in them—for about a week. The wrinkled dress shirt had been white once upon a time, and a dingy tie hung haphazardly around his neck. His slacks were torn at the knees, and his leather shoes looked as if he'd stepped into the nearest muddy puddle.

On his wrist, was a Rolex.

_Weird._

I cleared my throat. "Can I get you a slice of pie? We have apple and, I think, one slice of cherry."

He finally looked my way, and the intensity of those eyes pierced through me.

Beautiful green and painfully cold.

"Your name is Bella?"

The question surprised me, and quite frankly, scared me a little. But then I remembered I'm a waitress, and wearing a name tag is part of the gig.

"Yes, I'm Bella."

He nodded once, and that was the end of our conversation.

I finished closing up and tried not to stare at the beautiful disaster sitting at the end of the counter. He must have money, if the watch on his wrist was any indication. Why would he be dressed as if he spent his nights sleeping in a cardboard box in an alley?

After gathering dishes, I headed back to the kitchen. Billy, the manager, was finishing up dishes.

"I can do that," I offered, feeling a little guilty that the boss was washing silverware. Rose, the other waitress, had called in sick, leaving us short-handed on a Friday night.

"I don't mind doing dishes," Billy said with a grin. "It's a nice break from mindless paperwork."

Billy Black was a great man and pretty laid back as far as bosses go. He was nice enough to schedule my shifts around my classes and never gave me grief for doing homework if business was slow. Most managers would expect you to be doing _something productive_, but Billy understood. He didn't expect me to make a career out of working at the diner. It was a paycheck—a means to an end. The pay wasn't great, but the tips were decent, and so far, I was juggling my course load and working without completely losing my mind.

Most importantly, I was paying for my senior year of college, and I was doing it without student loans.

Because he was so cool—and because I had a killer work ethic—I worked my ass off for Billy. I knew he appreciated me, especially on nights like these.

"Headed home?"

"Not yet. I still have a customer at the counter."

Billy nodded and finished draining the sink. "I have to finish some paperwork, but it shouldn't take too long. Want me to give you a ride?"

"Nah, I'll be fine."

He said goodnight before heading toward his tiny office. I made my way back out front, expecting to see the handsome homeless man sitting at the counter.

To my surprise, he was gone.

I walked to the end of counter, and that's when I saw two things that made me stop in my tracks.

A full cup of coffee.

And his Rolex.

* * *

The Seattle air nipped at my bare fingers, and I muttered a curse. Leaving my gloves at home in the middle of November wasn't exactly the dumbest thing I'd done lately, but it was pretty close.

No, my shining moment had been last Saturday.

Regardless of my friends' warnings and despite my conscience screaming at me that this was monumentally stupid, I'd finally agreed to go out with Tyler Crowley.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a simple girl, and we're both poor college students, so eating fast food wasn't an unusual dinner for me. But when he told that it would be best if I didn't supersize my McDonald's fries, I knew it was going to be a very long evening. At the end of the night, I told him to delete my number from his cell.

At least I could laugh about it now.

I pulled my jacket tighter around me and quickened my pace toward my apartment. It wasn't a long walk between the diner and my place, but the cold temperature made it seem like miles. I was just making my way across the Washington Street Bridge when something caught my eye.

A man was standing along the barrier of the bridge, looking down into the frigid water below.

Without a backwards glance, he placed one leg over the edge, and that's when I recognized him.

I screamed.

His head jerked up, and there, under the lights of the city, my eyes locked with the beautiful man who'd left his watch on my counter.

And he was going to jump.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Let me know! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**As always, I'm blown away by the support. To say thanks, you get a quick update. :)**

**Thanks to Shaina for being my beta and to Katmom for pre-reading.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

I was paralyzed.

So was he.

_Thankfully…_

I had no idea if anyone was watching us. My eyes remained fixed on him as he straddled the concrete barrier—the only thing separating him from the certain death that awaited him.

I didn't know his name. I didn't know why he was dressed like a beggar, and I certainly didn't know why he left his Rolex on my counter.

In this moment, none of that mattered.

I stepped closer, keeping my movements slow and measured as I approached him. The last thing I wanted to do was spook him. For now, one leg was still on _this_ side of the barrier, which gave me a small inkling of hope that maybe he didn't really want to die tonight.

"Go away, Bella."

His voice was rough and raw, and it broke my heart.

"No."

I saw something flash in his eyes.

"Screw you."

"Don't jump, and maybe I'll let you."

It was a ridiculous thing to say, but I was desperate. He'd never survive the fall, and I had enough guilt in my heart to last a lifetime. I didn't need this on my conscience, too.

He blinked rapidly, as if he was trying to make sense of my proposition.

"Tempting, but trust me. I'm not worth saving."

I took a step closer. "I don't believe that."

"Believe it, Bella," he replied firmly. "Please…just go."

I shook my head and leaned against the concrete, careful not to touch him.

"You can't jump," I said.

"Why not?"

At least he was talking.

"I don't even know your name. You know mine. That's not fair at all."

He looked surprised. "You don't recognize me?"

"Should I?"

"Wow," he muttered. "That's…refreshing, actually."

This was the strangest conversation in the history of the world. Surely we were making a scene and someone had called the police by now.

"I'm Edward Cullen."

The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it.

"I'm Bella Swan," I said softly. "Now, would you please put both legs on this side of the barrier so that my heart will stop trying to beat out of my chest?"

Edward tilted his head toward the river.

"Let me call your family."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"My family is dead, which is exactly what I should be. What I _want_ to be."

His body swayed, and my hands reached out, grabbing onto his arm. My entire body shook, and I didn't know if it was from adrenaline, fear, or a combination of the two, but I knew that I had to do whatever I could to keep him from plunging into the water.

I heard him take a deep breath.

"Please let me go."

Tears swam in my eyes. I was tiny, and if this man truly wanted to jump into the river, there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop him.

I realized this. I accepted this.

"Edward, isn't there someone who would miss you if you were gone? Someone whose entire world would come crashing down if you weren't in it?"

He tried to shake me off, and I gripped his arm tighter. For a split second, I realized he could pull me right over the edge with him.

I still had to try.

"Why do you care, Bella?"

I didn't understand the question at all. Shouldn't I be concerned that a man was trying to kill himself? Granted, no one else seemed to notice. Nobody had come to our rescue. Cars continued to pass us by, as if we were just an ordinary couple and this was just some ordinary conversation.

"I care because there has to be someone in this world who can't live without you," I whispered through my tears.

"She wouldn't miss me."

It was a glimmer of hope in the darkness.

"She would miss you. I know she would. I'm sure she loves you, and I bet she's worried sick."

"Alice always worries," he said with a quiet chuckle. His voice was a little stronger now. "Ever since we were kids, she's done nothing but worry about me."

Alice.

A wife? Girlfriend?

"You should let me call Alice for you."

Edward shook his head, but I could tell the talk of her—whoever she was—had given him a moment of clarity. The lines along his forehead had smoothed, his jaw was no longer clinched, and his body was no longer trembling.

"My apartment is just up the street," I heard myself say. "You could take a shower and have something to eat. My couch isn't the biggest, but it's comfortable. You could get some sleep, and then tomorrow morning, I'll take you to Alice."

Edward Cullen was obviously unstable, and I was inviting him back to my apartment. _This_ was the dumbest thing I'd done all week. My date with Tyler Crowley paled in comparison.

His eyes met mine. "You really don't know who I am, do you?"

"I really don't."

I held my breath as he slowly swung his leg back around, and I only exhaled when both of his muddy shoes were planted firmly on the street. My knees nearly buckled with relief.

"If you knew me at all, you'd know that I don't need your charity."

I figured as much, what with the Rolex and all.

"You may not need my money, but you definitely need my help tonight. Let me help you, Edward."

He sighed tiredly.

"You could just do us both a favor and walk away."

His eyes—those deep, green eyes—stared into mine, begging me to let him do what he came here to do. Begging me to understand. Begging me to forget that I ever met him.

I couldn't.

I wouldn't.

"Come home with me, Edward."

He closed his eyes, breaking our connection. When he opened them again, they were a little softer. A little kinder.

"Okay," he whispered.

* * *

You know that little voice in your head? The one that shouts at you, warning you that something is dangerous or wrong or just plain idiotic?

As I watched Edward sleep on my couch, I was surprised to realize that the little voice was nowhere to be found.

In a complete daze, Edward had walked around my small apartment. He looked at the few pictures on the wall and ran his fingers along the spines of my books. I'd rummaged through my closet and found an old t-shirt and a pair of Levi's that my ex-boyfriend had left behind. I'd pointed Edward toward my guest bathroom while I'd made spaghetti and meatballs. He'd eaten three platefuls and thanked me quietly before passing out on my couch.

Beneath the grime and dirty clothes, Edward Cullen was a handsome man.

His hair was still damp, and one stand of hair hung loosely in his eyes. My fingers literally itched to brush it away from his forehead, but I remained in my chair and wondered what in the hell would have compelled this beautiful man to want to end his life.

I glanced at my laptop sitting on the coffee table.

The Internet was a really wonderful thing.

_Do I dare?_

He's obviously someone important. He seemed far too surprised that I didn't recognize him, and the man had to be wealthy. He could have been the mayor, or the mayor's son, and I wouldn't have known the difference. I hadn't lived in Seattle for long, and my entire life was focused on school and work.

And on my cat, Oreo—who was lying at the bottom of my couch and curled around Edward's leg.

My cat hated strangers. Men especially. He'd never warmed up to Mike, even though we'd lived together for six months. Whenever Mike was within an inch of me, my normally gentle feline turned into a hissing, scratching ball of fur.

Oreo knew all along that Mike Newton was bad news. It took me a little longer to figure it out.

Edward shifted against the couch, and I held my breath when he started mumbling in his sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand any of it. After a few seconds of his rambling, his body stilled, and the room was filled with the sound of his soft snores once again.

In the darkness of my living room, I considered my options.

I could grab my laptop and type his name into Google. For some reason, that seemed like such an invasion of his privacy that I just couldn't bring myself to do it. On the other hand, the man was spending the night on my couch, so it'd be nice to confirm that he wasn't a serial killer.

I had no idea what to do, so I just sat there, watching him sleep.

With my cat.

_Weird._

It was nearly two before I finally decided to just call it a night. I smelled like the diner, so I took a quick shower, hoping the hot water would relieve the tension that had settled into my shoulders.

As I dried my hair, I realized I hadn't taken the time to grab a change of clothes out of my bedroom.

"Way to go, Bella," I muttered.

Praying he was still fast asleep, I wrapped a towel around my body and quietly crept out into the hallway.

And that's when I heard him, sobbing hysterically in the living room.

I ran toward the room, only to find him sitting on the floor, with his knees pulled close to his chest.

"Edward," I whispered, but he couldn't hear me.

I raced to his side and collapsed on the floor next to him. His head was buried in his hands as he wept. Desperate to bring him some sort of comfort, I touched his arm. His entire body shuddered, and my heart shattered into a million pieces. His grief, his anguish, his desire to end his life. It was palpable, and I felt it all. Every single emotion radiated through his body and into mine.

"Edward, please…" My own tears were uncontrollable now.

Suddenly, his arms wrapped around me like a vice, holding me so tightly I could barely breathe. He buried his face against my neck as frantic sobs wracked his body.

I had no idea how to react. No idea what to do.

So I held him, too.

I cradled him in my arms and let him cry. I didn't whisper that everything would be okay. I didn't promise that the world would look a little brighter tomorrow. I couldn't say those things, because I had no idea if they were true.

So I held him close and let him cry.

I had no idea how much time passed, but eventually, his body stilled, and his tears subsided.

And his hands began to roam.

"You're so soft," he whispered thickly. His touch was gentle and slow as his fingers stroked my spine, and that's when I remembered my towel.

I should have panicked, but there was no fear.

I should have run, but it was impossible.

Gasping for air, he brushed his lips across my bare shoulder. His hot breath against my skin ignited my blood, and when his hands pushed away my towel, I didn't try to stop him.

"Do you remember what you said at the bridge?"

I remembered.

"I didn't jump," he murmured roughly.

_Don't jump, and maybe I'll let you._

"Let me, Bella."

His voice was a desperate plea, and I was powerless to resist.

I didn't even try.

Sliding my hands along his chest, I reached for the hem of his shirt, lifting it above his head. Edward rose up to his knees and unbuckled the jeans, letting them slide down his legs before kicking them aside. His clothes joined my towel, somewhere in the middle of my living room.

And then his mouth was on mine.

There was no slow build-up. No gentleness or taking our time.

I wanted it.

I craved it.

When it was over, he tenderly kissed my face.

"Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry. You…you're just so warm and beautiful, and I was so…" His voice trailed off into a murmur. "I'm sorry, Bella."

My heart ached.

_I'm not. I'm not sorry at all._

He lifted his hand to caress my cheek, and that's when I saw the gold band on his finger.

* * *

**Trust me?**

**See you soon! XXOO**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks so much for reading and being so supportive. It warms my heart!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

"You really are so beautiful," Edward said softly as he trailed his fingers across my cheek. "Beautiful Bella. It fits perfectly."

My blood ran cold as my eyes remained fixed on the ring around his finger.

"You have to know I never do this," he continued, completely oblivious to my fury. "I don't just sleep with random women. It's…it's been so long, Bella. Too long. And you've been so sweet and kind, and I just…"

I couldn't take it anymore.

"You're wearing a ring," I whispered.

He stopped stroking my face. "Bella…"

"You're wearing a ring?"

Edward sighed heavily. "Yes, but it's not what you think. Just let me explain…"

"Is it a wedding band?"

"Yes."

"Then it's exactly what I think."

I shoved him hard and struggled out of his arms. The only clothes in the room were the ones I'd ripped off his body, so I grabbed Mike's old t-shirt and threw it over my head before rising to my feet.

"Bella, if you'll just let me…"

"What was I thinking?" I muttered to myself as I searched the room for my bag. I had to find my cell phone and call him a cab. "I don't know who the hell you are, and I invited you to my apartment. Oh my god, you're married, and we just..."

Suddenly he was on his feet. "Bella, you have to calm down."

Rage nearly blinded me.

"Don't tell me to calm down! Get out of my house. Call a cab. Call _Alice._ Is she your wife?"

Edward stared down at my cell.

"No. Alice is my sister," he whispered.

I was close to vomiting.

"I don't care who you call. Just get the hell out of my apartment."

Edward looked devastated as he reached for me, but I quickly moved out of his grasp.

"Don't touch me! Start dialing or I'm calling the police."

With a resigned sigh, he pressed the buttons and cradled the phone to his ear. I didn't bother listening. I simply walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind me before stepping into the shower. His scent surrounded me, and I wanted it gone.

I wanted _him_ gone.

When I walked back into the living room, I found that I'd gotten my wish.

And that's when I dropped to the floor, letting my shame swallow me whole.

* * *

"What's your problem?" Rose asked.

"You, at the moment."

I'd been a bitch all day. Business had been uncharacteristically slow for a Saturday, giving me way too much time to think. I couldn't even use the downtime to do homework because I'd forgotten my laptop. I prayed Billy would take pity on me and let me go home before my shift ended at four.

"You know what you need, Swan…" I rolled my eyes and cleared the dishes off the counter. "You need a man."

"Actually, Rose, that's the last thing I need right now."

"Is Newton bothering you again?"

I shook my head and began refilling the cups and lids.

"Crowley? I told you that was a bad idea."

Rose had the sad distinction of being one of my few friends in town, so she knew all about my bad luck with men.

"No, it's not Tyler."

A customer walked in and headed toward Rose's section. I sighed with relief and finished restocking the cups before making a fresh pot of coffee.

"Hey, Bella," Billy shouted from the back. He was working the grill today. "Did that guy come back for his Rolex?"

My body froze.

"No, I haven't seen him."

Billy shook his head. "I don't understand why someone would leave behind a valuable watch like that."

_Because he planned to kill himself_, I thought to myself.

Or had he? Part of me wondered if the suicide attempt had been just an act. Maybe that was Edward's game—to find innocent, unsuspecting females and play on their sympathies in order to get them into bed. If so, I fell for it—hook, line, and sinker.

"So stupid," I muttered to myself.

"Who's stupid?" Rose asked as she slipped the order ticket in the window.

"A customer left Bella his Rolex last night," Billy explained.

Rose glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, there's your tuition for the year," she said with a grin as she reached for the coffee.

"I didn't keep it, Rose."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not mine?"

Shaking her head, she sighed and went to fill the customer's mug. I tried to keep busy, wiping anything with a flat surface and folding silverware. I was exhausted, and my body ached.

_All over._

My face flushed as I recalled Edward's scorching kiss.

Then, I remembered his wedding ring, and my stomach lurched.

"You don't look so good," Rose said when she returned.

I took a steadying breath. She could read me like a book, so I decided to lie. "Yeah, I think I'm coming down with something."

She grinned and nudged my shoulder. "Well, at least we know you aren't pregnant. You'd have to be getting laid for that to happen."

My eyes widened.

I'd been wallowing so much that I hadn't even considered the possibility that my stupidity could have complications—life-altering, eternal complications like babies.

Or diseases.

_Oh god._

I barely made it to the bathroom before dry heaves wracked my body.

* * *

"What did you eat?"

Rose and I were sitting outside on the bench. The cold November air felt like heaven against my face.

"I haven't eaten today."

She sighed. "Well, something's wrong. I mean, you're never Mary Sunshine, but I can tell something's bothering you. Why don't you tell me what it is, and then I'll decide the appropriate form of punishment for whoever's made you miserable."

I grinned. "You're a little scary, Rose."

"Well, you're like my little sister. I have to take care of you."

Leaning back against the bench, I exhaled loudly. "Someone needs to. I'm clearly incapable of taking care of myself."

"What does that mean?"

So I told her about him—about the coffee, the dejected look in his eyes, the bridge, the amazing unprotected sex, and the wedding ring. She listened without interrupting, and I saw zero judgment in her eyes.

"You certainly had an interesting night," Rose said finally.

I groaned. "An interesting night? It was monumentally stupid."

"Bella, you aren't the first girl to regret a one-night stand. Hell, you aren't even the first girl to sleep with a married man. It happens to the best of us."

"It doesn't happen to me," I whispered. "What if I'm pregnant, Rose? Or worse?"

She nodded in understanding. "You need to get tested, for sure. Do you have a doctor here in the city?"

I shook my head.

"There's a clinic just down the block. We'll go first thing Monday morning."

This was why I loved Rose. She was very no-nonsense. You have a problem, you deal with it. Immediately.

* * *

I was back at my apartment, considering my options, when I heard my name being screamed.

"Bella, I know you're in there! You have to let me explain. Please!"

_Edward._

The pounding continued, and I prayed one of my neighbors would call the police and put me out of my misery.

Suddenly, my door flew open, and my head shot up. Edward's eyes were wild as he searched the room, and he sighed with relief when he saw me sitting on the floor.

_What the hell?_

"My door…" I whispered in disbelief. "You busted down my door."

"I'll buy you a new door, Bella."

"Yes you will. Now get the hell out."

Sighing loudly, Edward attempted to shut the door—which was impossible now. "You have to give me the chance to explain. It's not fair…"

I was livid.

"Fair? I have to make a doctor's appointment Monday morning, and you want to talk to me about what's fair?"

Edward dropped onto the floor beside of me.

"I'd say I'm sorry it happened, but that would be a lie," Edward whispered.

I laughed, but there was nothing humorous about it. "Of course you're not sorry. You got exactly what you wanted from me last night."

He was shaking his head. "Bella, that's not true at all. I never…I never expected to meet you last night. I never dreamed that I'd meet someone so kind and compassionate—someone who'd be so willing to save a complete stranger. Someone who'd offer to bring me back to her apartment to feed me, to let me shower, to give me clean clothes."

Tears streaked down my cheeks.

"But most of all," Edward murmured gently, "I never expected to feel what I felt for you last night."

My heart was pounding so fast. He wasn't allowed to say these sweet things to me.

"You're married," I whispered, my voice aching with sadness.

He grimaced down at the ring on his left hand.

"I'm not married anymore."

"Then why are you wearing a ring?"

He closed his eyes and sighed. "It's a very long and complicated story, Bella, but I'm willing to tell it if you're willing to listen."

Was I? I had no idea. Having him here was doing nothing but confusing me. Thankfully, Edward seemed to sense my need for space. He reached into his jacket pocket and handed me a business card.

"This is me. All of my contact information is there. Please call me?"

I didn't even look at the card. "I'll think about it."

Edward nodded and rose to his feet. He'd barely made it to the door before he turned back around.

"Until last night, I hadn't had sex in over a year," he said softly. "I'm healthy. And if you're pregnant, I will take care of you. I might have been a shitty husband, but being a father was the one thing I was good at—until recently, anyway."

I swallowed anxiously as he turned toward the doorway.

"I'll have someone here to fix your door within the hour. Please call me."

And with that, he was gone.

* * *

**So see, not a cheating fic. *whew***

**See you soon! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: See how much I love you! See? :)**

**All mistakes are mine. Please forgive them.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

* * *

"Wow, he really did a number on your door, didn't he?"

I slowly sipped my cheap wine. "He really did."

"Persistent bastard. I like him already."

I rolled my eyes and prayed to get drunk. As soon as Edward left, I'd called Rose, who'd arrived fifteen minutes later with a bottle of wine and two huge slices of Billy's cheesecake.

"Edward left me his business card. Told me to call him when I was ready to hear what he had to say."

"That's his name, Edward?"

I nodded.

"What does he do?" Rose asked.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure, really. It just says Cullen Technologies."

Rose's fork hit the plate.

"Cullen? Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah."

Her eyes were wide as saucers. "The man you saved from jumping off the Washington Street Bridge? The man you slept with last night? _That _was Edward Cullen?"

"You know him?"

She laughed. "Do I _know_ him? Are you kidding? Everybody knows Edward Cullen. His family owns one of the largest electronics companies in the Pacific Northwest. Everybody says Edward is the next Steve Jobs. Or Mark Zuckerberg. Or…"

"I get it, Rose."

I placed my glass on the coffee table and buried my face in my hands.

"You had sex with a millionaire, and you didn't even know it."

"We didn't exactly exchange personal details, Rosalie. His bank account was the last thing on my mind."

This made her laugh. "You could be knocked up with Edward Cullen's baby! You'd be set for life, Swan."

Just then, a fist pounded on the door. Knocking was pretty pointless considering it was just hanging there by a hinge, but at least the person was being polite.

"Bella Swan?"

Rosalie jumped off the couch and headed toward the swinging door.

"Can we help you?"

He smiled down at Rose. Wow, he was tall.

"Are you Miss Swan?"

"No, I'm Miss Swan's friend. Who the hell are you?"

He grinned. "My name is Emmett. I'm here to fix the door."

I glanced at my watch. Edward had promised someone would be here within the hour.

Impressive.

He nodded at me. "You're Miss Swan, I assume?"

"Yeah. You can call me Bella."

"Nice to meet you, Bella." Emmett whistled while he examined the door. "My brother really did a number on this, didn't he?"

"You're Edward's brother?" Rose asked.

"Yep. I always have to clean-up the mess he makes with his bullshit temper," Emmett said as he pulled tools out of his bag. "I hope he didn't scare you, Bella."

"No, he didn't scare me."

"Wait a second," Rose said loudly. "You're a Cullen?"

"Guilty."

"Your family is filthy rich."

"Guilty again."

"And you're a handyman?"

Emmett shot her a grin. "I'm the black sheep of the family, what can I say?"

You know those cartoons, where two people meet and Cupid appears, shooting arrows with hearts between the two of them?

I might have been hallucinating from the cheap wine, but I could've sworn I saw him floating above my doorway.

Rose was batting her eyelashes, and Emmett was grinning like an idiot as he explained that he was head of security at the family's Seattle office.

"I could have called the maintenance guys," he muttered while he worked, "but why should I drag a guy away from his family on the weekend just to clean up my brother's mess?"

"How considerate of you." Rosalie was practically gushing.

"So, is Bella always this quiet?"

Rose sighed. "Yes, and it's so annoying."

Oreo decided to make an appearance and jumped up on the couch, settling himself in my lap as we both watched in fascination at the love connection that was taking place right before our eyes.

Emmett continued trying to fasten my door back onto its hinges as they flirted. "I know your friend's name. What's yours?"

"I'm Rosalie Hale. My friends call me Rose."

"You're cute, Rose."

"So are you."

"Single?"

"Yes. Are you?"

"Yep. We should have dinner tonight."

"Okay."

Oreo looked up at me, and I just shook my head in amazement.

_Why was it so easy for some people?_

"So, I have to ask. Why did my hot-headed brother knock down your friend's door?"

"Hmm. I'm afraid that isn't my story to tell."

I smiled. Rose was a true friend.

"Edward's always had a temper. It got worse when he married that thieving, conniving…" he stopped suddenly and shook his head. "Anyway, Edward's had a horrible week. The whole family has. The funeral was just torture. No one should die that young."

Rose blinked rapidly. "Oh, god. I read about that in the paper."

My body stiffened. _Read what?_

"Yeah, it's been rough," Emmett said softly. "We loved that little girl a lot, despite her mother. She was the very best of both of them, and now she's gone. It's been…it's been rough."

And a puzzle piece maneuvered into place.

Grabbing my laptop, I left them in the living room while I headed for the sanctuary of my bedroom. My cat followed on my heels, and both of us collapsed onto the mattress. Once the laptop booted, I typed Edward's name into the search engine.

"Move your ass, Oreo," I mumbled. He loved to rest his body on the keyboard. It was his less-than-subtle way of letting me know that I was ignoring him. He let out a small hiss, but he cooperated, and when the black ball of fur was out of the way, the first thing I saw was Edward's face. Below it, was a headline.

_A Family Mourns_

_Family and friends gathered Tuesday to bid farewell to Christina Elizabeth Cullen, the two-year-old daughter of Edward and Lauren Cullen... _

Tears swam in my eyes as I quickly closed the website.

I couldn't read the rest.

Instead, I typed Lauren Cullen's name into my search box.

Of course, she was beautiful. Tall, with straight black hair and long, tanned legs that went on forever. The photo was taken two months ago at some art benefit in the city. Lauren was holding onto Edward's arm, and the expression on his face screamed that he would've rather have been anywhere in the world then in that art gallery with that beautiful woman by his side.

"Bella, your door's fixed," Rosalie whispered from the bedroom entrance.

I smiled and wiped away my tears. "Thanks, Rose."

She walked toward the bed. I didn't even bother hiding my laptop screen. "Is that her?"

I nodded.

"He looks miserable."

"I know."

Rose ruffled my hair. "Did you read the articles? He's been in the news all week. I can't believe I didn't think about it before."

"I read that his daughter died. I couldn't read the rest."

"I think you should talk to him, Bella. Emmett says he's actually a nice guy. He's just been miserable for so long. Apparently, his marriage wasn't the happiest."

"Edward told me he wasn't married _anymore_. Whatever that means…"

"Yeah, I don't know, either. You need to call him."

She was right.

"What if I'm pregnant, Rose. What would I do?

Rose shook her head. "I can't answer that, Bella. But, there are other options you can explore later, if you do end up pregnant."

_Which reminds me…_

"Edward said that he hasn't had sex in over a year, and that he's healthy."

Rose looked surprised. "Do you believe him?"

I glanced back at the computer screen, and at Lauren's perfect face smiling into the camera.

"I think I do," I whispered.

* * *

The next day, I was considering the possible stupidity of my actions when I heard his knock. Taking a deep breath, I scooted Oreo off my lap and made my way toward the door.

"At least you didn't tear it down this time," I said, smirking.

"That's because you opened it."

I smiled and invited him inside, leading him to the sofa. We sat side-by-side until my cat decided to make his presence known, plopping down right between us.

"Your protector?" he asked. Oreo purred as Edward scratched behind his ears.

"Do you charm everybody?"

"Why? Have I charmed you?"

"You've charmed my cat," I replied quietly, hating that he was right. I was completely charmed, and it pissed me off. "He hates strangers, especially men."

Then, Oreo surprised us both by climbing into Edward's lap.

"Traitor," I muttered.

Edward chuckled. "What's his name?"

"Oreo."

"Makes sense, since he's black and white."

I nodded. "Emmett did a good job on the door."

He chuckled. "He called to thank me for hooking him up with a date tonight. I was _this_ close to kicking his ass because I thought he meant with you."

"That would have bothered you?"

Edward frowned. "Yes, Bella. That would have bothered me a lot."

"I'm not yours, Edward."

"I know that," he whispered. "That doesn't keep me from wishing that you were."

I stared down at my hands in my lap. "You don't even know me. You don't know the first thing about me. All you know is that I work in a diner and that I'm good in bed."

He sighed, and I watched as his eyes lingered on the floor. On _that_ spot.

I might have sighed, too.

"I want to know you," Edward said softly. "Bella, I was in such a bad place that night. I was numb and dead inside. I'd just buried my daughter, and I had zero reason to live. Zero reason to care about anything."

I swallowed nervously.

"I read a little about your daughter. I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

His voice was hollow, and I knew it was probably his standard answer for condolences. I instantly recognized the detached tone, and it reminded me of my own misery.

"It's such bullshit, isn't it?" I said. "Having someone tell you how sorry they are. Most people have no idea, and yet, we're obligated to thank them for their concern."

Edward tilted his head, and his soft green eyes found mine.

"You're right, it's complete bullshit. That's how I feel, every single day," he replied.

"Me too. That's why I moved away from home. I just couldn't take it anymore."

He inched closer. "Where are you from?"

"Forks. You've probably never heard of it."

"I have, actually," he replied. "Our company wanted to extend digital cable there, but it's a massive project. It's a small town, but really remote and deep in the heart of the Olympic forest."

"Yeah."

Edward turned toward me. "What brought you to Seattle?"

My answer was simple.

"I was trying to escape the bullshit," I whispered.

He reached for my hand, and I let him take it.

"Your ring is gone," I remarked, noticing the groove along his finger.

"Yes, it is."

"Why?" My voice trembled. I prayed he didn't notice.

"Because it doesn't belong there. It hasn't belonged there in over a year."

I bowed my head. "I'm so confused."

"I know you are. So am I," he said, squeezing my fingers with his own. "Bella, I've been dead inside for years. My marriage—"

"I saw your wife's picture. She's beautiful."

"Lauren is not beautiful," he whispered. "She's cold and calculating and selfish to the core. Most importantly, she's not my wife anymore."

"You keep saying that. I just don't understand what it means."

Edward took a deep breath.

"Lauren and I divorced nearly a year ago. It'll be a year in January. No one knew. We continued living together, attending charity events and playing our roles as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Lauren had her bedroom, and I had mine."

"Why would you live that way?"

"Because we had a beautiful two-year-old little girl who we loved more than our own lives," he murmured, his voice breaking. "She was our world, Bella. The moon. The sun. The stars. She was our universe. Neither of us could bear to live without her, and if we lived separately, we would have had to share custody. We were shitty spouses, but we were fantastic parents. We really were. It was the only thing we did well. We never argued in front of her. We never raised our voices whenever Chrissy was around. We faked it, and we were good at it. Even our families were clueless."

"And that's why you wore your wedding ring."

Edward nodded.

"Why is it gone now?"

He blinked and bowed his head. When he lifted it again, I could see his tears.

"Because Chrissy's gone," he whispered, "and it's Lauren's fault that our daughter is dead."

* * *

**Your reviews make me smile. Thank you!**

**See you soon! XXOO**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Many of you asked why I chose Lauren. Honestly? Because so many of you said, "Please not Tanya or Jessica!" So…see, I do listen. :)**

**This is a shorter update, but I'm posting pretty quickly, so I figured you wouldn't mind.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

* * *

Edward's hands were shaking, and I held them tighter, hoping to give him something. Comfort. Strength. Warmth. Whatever he needed, because I couldn't imagine how he felt. I couldn't fathom how he was even functioning at this point. A loveless marriage and the death of a toddler would send anyone into a suicidal spin.

"She always drove too fast," Edward said softly, consumed with memories. "I was always telling her to slow down, but she loved her Jaguar. It was cherry red and beautiful."

"Was?"

He nodded. "_Was_. It isn't beautiful anymore."

I scooted closer, letting my shoulder brush against his. "Car accident?"

His tortured eyes closed.

"They were on their way home from a play date. Chrissy loved the park at Beacon Hill," he whispered, smiling for just a moment. "The park has this gigantic sandbox that she absolutely loved…"

Edward took a deep breath and continued.

"They were hit head-on by a drunk driver on a one-way street."

My heart was racing in my chest. "But Lauren survived?"

"Yes, _she_ survived. _She_ was wearing a seat-belt." His traumatized eyes found mine. "My daughter wasn't."

His breathing was coming out in short gasps now, so I let my hands trail over his arm and up along his neck. They finally settled into his hair, and he closed his eyes as I attempted to soothe him.

Charlie had always preached about seat belts. His old pick-up truck didn't have them, so he never allowed me to ride in the cab. I always thought it was hypocritical—after all, he'd take the truck whenever he went fishing—so I didn't understand why it was okay for him, but not for me.

But I was the child, and he was the parent.

And I was his sun, moon, and stars.

_Was._

A little later, Edward fell asleep on my couch, and I let him sleep. He seemed to rest pretty peacefully here, and if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication, that was probably a rarity.

Once again, I sat across the room, with my cat in my lap, watching him as he slept. I wasn't trying to be a stalker. He was just such an enigma, and I was trying to figure him out.

Edward Cullen was a millionaire. Maybe a billionaire. He had people to clean his house, count his money, and chauffeur him around town.

Money really doesn't buy happiness.

It was no wonder the sex had been explosive. The man was starved for affection. For a tender touch. For a kind word. For a giving heart.

_Out of all the diners in Seattle, he had to walk into mine._

I pushed Oreo out of my lap, and watched in disbelief as he jumped up on the couch and curled himself around Edward's leg. Shaking my head, I walked toward the kitchen. Searching my refrigerator for something to cook, I decided on chicken parm. It was easy to make, and he'd probably be hungry when he woke up.

As I stood at the stove, I considered my options.

If I was pregnant, would it really be so terrible?

In many ways, yes.

I was a struggling college student. My apartment wasn't a dump, but it wasn't exactly kid-friendly. I can barely pay rent and tuition now. Could I really add a baby to the picture?

I wasn't ready.

On the other hand, there was Edward. I didn't know much about him, but I had the feeling that he'd been completely honest when he said he'd take care of me and our child. I wasn't a fan of _being taken care of_, but if a baby was involved, I'd have to swallow my pride and let him.

Rosalie was right. I had options.

By the time dinner was ready, I was more confused than ever.

I gasped when a pair of hands settled along my waist.

"Something smells good," Edward said softly, skimming his nose along the side of my neck.

I held the pan a little tighter. "It's the chicken parmesan."

"No," he murmured. "It's not."

I sighed when his hand came to rest on my stomach. He used the other to push my hair aside, and I held onto the stove as he placed a soft kiss just below my ear.

"You have to stop touching me," I whispered weakly.

"I know."

But he didn't, and my body came alive as he slid his hand beneath my t-shirt.

"Edward, please..."

My voice wasn't firm at all. We could so easily have sex, right here in my kitchen. I'd let him, and I'd love it.

With a sigh, he buried his face against my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

I tried to control my breathing while he stepped away, and I immediately missed his touch.

"Can I do something?" Edward offered, his polite manners kicking in. _Such an enigma_. "I could pour the wine, if you have any."

I placed our dinner on the kitchen table. "I don't have anything decent. There's milk, though."

"Milk's great."

Over dinner, we tried to make conversation. He told me a little about his business, but he lost me completely when he started talking about fiber optics and solar panels. It was easy to see he was passionate about his work.

"It's just our mission to make global communication _better_," he said, before laughing a little. "That sounds really corny, doesn't it?"

"Not at all. I think it sounds like a noble goal."

He took a long sip of milk. "This is delicious, by the way."

"Thanks."

"Do you like to cook?"

I shrugged. "Not really, but it's sort of a necessity. Take-out can get expensive."

He didn't bother agreeing. How could he? The man probably had private chefs at his beck-and-call.

"What are you studying?"

"Journalism," I replied. "I want to be a writer."

"What do you want to write?"

"Novels, eventually, but I'm realistic. I'll be happy with a job at a newspaper for now."

"A writer's life can be hard, Bella."

"_Life_ is hard."

"You're right, it is," he agreed.

I sighed and placed my fork on my plate. "Writing makes me happy. If life is hard, I want to at least be happy living it."

He reached across the table and brushed his hand against mine.

"I wouldn't know what that's like."

"Being happy?"

He nodded. "It's been so long since I've been truly happy. Chrissy made my life beautiful, despite my misery, you know? Now that she's gone…"

His fingers flexed, and I turned my palm, giving him permission to place his hand in mine.

"I understand that," I said softly. "After my dad died, I just couldn't force myself to be happy in Forks anymore."

He squeezed my hand. "What happened to him?"

"He was shot. Killed in the line of duty."

"Soldier?"

"Police chief."

Edward nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry you lost your dad."

"I'm sorry you lost your daughter."

We shared a soft, understanding smile.

"Is that why you moved to Seattle?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "My mom is a lunatic, and I just couldn't stomach it anymore. She's a very selfish person. After he died, she drank away every dime my dad had saved for me for college."

"What about life insurance?"

"She drank that away, too. She's probably still drinking it away. I wouldn't know since I haven't been back. I moved in with my boyfriend for a while, and then we moved here."

Edward frowned.

"I kicked him out a few months ago."

He visibly relaxed, and I found it ironic that the mere mention of an ex bothered him. At least I wasn't wearing a ring.

"Was he good to you?" Edward asked.

"No, that's why I kicked him out."

He smiled.

I cleared the table, and he helped me with the dishes. I was sure it was the first time in his life that his manicured hands had touched soapy water, but he was determined to help.

"Can I ask a completely nosy question?"

"You can ask me anything, Bella."

"You looked like hell the night you walked into the diner," I said softly. "Why?"

He sighed and handed me a plate.

"We'd buried Chrissy on Tuesday afternoon," he explained. "Lauren went home with her parents. My mom and dad begged me to come back to their house, but I just wanted to be alone. I went home, and I sat in the middle of her bedroom, just staring at the pinks and purples and sparkly shit that she loved so much. I drank myself into a stupor and slept in her bed. The next day, I climbed into my car and drove. I ran out of gas _somewhere_, and that's when I started walking. I tried to sleep on benches. In parks. Anywhere but my house because I just couldn't stand going back there. It was impossible, so I just wandered. By the time I'd walked into your diner, I'd been awake for two days. I was still wearing the clothes I'd worn to the funeral."

I blinked away my tears and drained the sink. After drying our hands, Edward placed his hands on my waist and lifted me onto the counter. He stepped between my legs, and I placed my hands on his shoulders.

"When you found me on that bridge, I was so ready to die, Bella. I had nothing to lose. Nothing to live for. My family thinks you walk on water, by the way."

"Why would they think that?"

"Because you saved my life."

"You told them?"

He nodded. "We're actually quite close. They deserved an explanation as to why I'd disappeared for three days."

I smiled. "And you said no one would miss you."

"That was just my grief talking," he said, laughing softly. "Alice is particularly interested in meeting you someday. You two have a lot in common, actually. She's a fashion journalist for _Seattle Magazine_."

We grew quiet and gazed at each other. After a while, his eyes flickered to my lips.

"You're so pretty."

I had no idea what to say to that. I wasn't used to compliments.

"Let me take you to dinner."

I smirked. "We just ate."

"I meant tomorrow," he said. "Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night."

"I have a late class."

"Lunch?"

I laughed, and he grinned.

"Breakfast? Mid-day snack? I don't care. Just let me see you tomorrow."

Truthfully? I wanted to see him, too.

"There's a fountain out by the fine arts building. We could meet there around five."

Edward stepped a little closer and rubbed his nose against mine.

"Five sounds great," he whispered.

* * *

**Thanks, as always, for reading and leaving your comments. I read them all, and I appreciate them so much.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Special thanks to JadaPattinson on Twitter, who shared a lovely story about her little girl and allowed me to use it here.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

* * *

I'd offered to work the afternoon shift, and I was already regretting it.

Rose always complained about the daytime customers—calling them arrogant businessmen who loved to stiff you on the tip. I normally worked nights, and my regulars were typically older, sweeter, and less stressed. I knew them by name, and they'd always ask how my classes were going. They didn't create gigantic messes for me to clean and they always left a little something, even if all they'd ordered was a cup of coffee.

These people were just rude.

One chick spilled Coke on her blouse and blamed me, claiming I'd overfilled the cup. Another guy had dropped his burger onto the floor and didn't bother to pick it up. And a mother had brought her four children, stuck them in a booth, and proceeded to talk on her cell for an hour while I took care of her kids.

After they left, I wasn't at all surprised to see that she'd left just enough money to cover the bill. I rolled my eyes and began to wipe the spaghetti off the window.

And that's when I felt someone's eyes on me.

I glanced up, and found myself staring into the pretty eyes of a young woman. She looked younger than me, but probably not by much. She had short, spiky, black hair and was dressed like a supermodel.

But she was staring, and that made me nervous.

"Can I get you something?" I asked politely.

She smiled, and it was beautiful.

"You're Bella."

"I am."

"Then yes, you can get me something."

I sighed and forgot the spaghetti. After all, it wasn't going anywhere.

"What can I get you?" I asked as I made my way to her table.

"You can get yourself a cup of coffee and then come sit with me."

I must have looked confused, because she laughed.

"Oh, come on. That woman with the four kids worked your ass off and didn't bother leaving you a tip. You deserve a break."

I really couldn't argue with that, so I collapsed into the booth.

"No coffee?"

"I hate coffee," I replied.

She made a face. "Me too. Smells good, though."

I hummed and glanced at my watch. In one hour, I would see Edward, and my crappy day would improve dramatically.

"You're just as pretty as he said you were. Even more so, if that's possible. You never know with Edward. He tends to exaggerate, but this time, he was right on."

I narrowed my eyes.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"My name is Alice, and you are the woman who saved my brother's life."

I was suddenly very uncomfortable and wishing I was wiping spaghetti off the windows.

"I hope you don't mind. I just had to meet you."

"It's fine," I said, shrugging, even though it wasn't really. "Does Edward know you're here?"

"No, he'd be so mad if he knew I was here. He actually told me not to bother you."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I don't take orders very well. It's a problem, really."

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

"I just wanted to see you," Alice said, her voice a soft whisper. "He'd be dead if it wasn't for you. Our family is so grateful. We'd all love to meet you, but Edward says we have to wait. Something about the two of you doing things a little backwards? And he's trying to make it right—whatever that means."

I simply nodded. I wasn't about to fill in _those_ blanks.

"Edward told me that you're a writer," I said.

Alice wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Yeah, but it's not really for me. I don't like _writing_ about fashion. I love wearing it. Dad said I had to find a job on my own if I didn't want to work for his company, so that's what I did. I eventually want to move to New York or Los Angeles and become a stylist."

"That sounds exciting."

She pondered this. "You think? I don't know. I just know that I don't possess that Cullen gene that makes me want to save the world. I just want to make it beautiful."

I smiled. "Making it beautiful is just as important, I think."

She grinned brightly. "We should go shopping! Do you like to shop?"

_Lord._

"The only shopping I do is at the grocery store, Alice."

"Oh."

A customer walked in, and I was just about to get up when Rose appeared. She waved in my direction—our little code for _I'll take this table_.

"You make him smile." Her eyes were fixed on the sparkling solitaire on her left hand as she twirled it around. "He hasn't smiled in so long. It's been years. He loves his work. That was his only real passion until Chrissy arrived. After her birth, he became a _man_, and she was the only sunshine in his life, and I do mean the _only _sunshine. That wife of his…"

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. The entire Cullen clan hated Lauren with a vengeance.

"Well, Alice, it's been nice meeting you, but I need to get busy. I have class soon."

"Oh, of course!"

We stood up, and just as I was about to offer her my hand, she grabbed me and hugged me tightly.

"Thank you, Bella," she whispered softly against my ear.

And then she was gone.

* * *

"I hope you like chicken salad," Edward said as he finished emptying the picnic basket. Yes, the man had brought a picnic basket to a college campus. It was the cutest thing ever.

"I love chicken salad."

"I have to confess something to you. My mom did all of this." He waved toward the sandwiches and chips and homemade cookies. "I was just going to order take-out, but you work in a restaurant, so I thought I should be a little creative."

I laughed. "It looks great. Thank your mom for me."

He smiled at me, and we began to eat.

"How was your day?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

Edward handed me a bottle of water. "Today was a bad day, to be honest. I'm probably going to have a lot of bad days."

I nodded in understanding. My dad had been gone for a while and I still had bad days.

"My parents have insisted I talk to someone, so I'm going to start seeing a therapist. My first appointment is tomorrow," Edward said.

"I tried therapy," I said. "I spent more time talking about my mom than my dad, so I stopped going."

He offered me a sad smile. It was so strange—bonding over heartbreak and loss. But we were doing it, and it wasn't so bad. It was nice to find someone who could actually relate.

"I have to confess something to you, too."

"Oh?"

"I met your sister today."

He stopped chewing. "You met Alice?"

"She came to the diner."

Edward groaned. "I'm sorry, Bella. I told her to stay away."

"It's okay," I promised. "She was really sweet. I just wanted you to know. I think it's important that we're honest about everything."

"I agree completely."

"Good," I said, trying to gather my courage. "I also need you to know this. _If _I'm pregnant, I do not expect you to support me. I'm trying so hard to be independent, and while I know you'll feel a responsibility to take care of our child, I want you to know that I expect nothing."

"I understand," he replied quietly.

"Okay, good."

"But you realize—even if things don't work out between us—I would want to be a part of our child's life, right?"

"Of course, yes."

He sighed with relief.

"That's another thing I wanted to talk about," I said quietly. "We need to talk about…whatever this is between us."

He chuckled. "You mean the mind-blowing chemistry? The incredible sex? The…"

"Yes, all of that."

"Okay, let's talk about it."

So what did we do? We sat there in complete silence for the next ten minutes or so. I ate my sandwich and gazed at the pretty fountain as students rushed by on their way to class. Edward ate his sandwich while his leg bounced nervously.

"Why is this so awkward?" Edward finally asked.

"Because we're strangers, I think."

"I don't want to be strangers."

I sighed softly and decided to be the mature one.

"What happened that night…" my voice trailed off as a deluge of memories flooded my mind.

The diner. The watch. The bridge. The sex.

My fingers began to tremble, and he reached for my hand.

"Everything just happened so fast, Edward. And you're incredibly sweet, and yes, the sex was amazing, but it can't happen again."

He frowned. "Never?"

"I'm not saying that. Just…not until we know each other better."

"I understand," Edward replied, "and I agree with you. Even though I think it'll be complete torture not to touch you. Or kiss you. Or…"

"That's another thing. You have to calm down a little. I'm not used to so much affection."

"I'm not used to giving it," he admitted, "but with you, I can't seem to help myself. You deserve affection, Bella."

I shrugged. I wouldn't know. Mike rarely showed affection outside of the bedroom, and even that had been limited. We never cuddled. Never held hands. He'd never walked up behind me while I was cooking and brushed my hair aside…

And he'd never, ever, packed me a picnic.

"But I'll try to calm down," Edward said, sensing my anxiety. "I'm just crazy attracted to you. It's been so long since I've felt anything for anyone."

I didn't understand that all. "You must have loved your wife at some point, didn't you?"

"No," he replied, and I could tell by his tone that he was embarrassed. "Lauren and I…we just satisfied certain needs. She wanted to be a trophy wife. I wanted to be a father. We had an understanding, and it worked for a while."

"When did it stop working?"

"When she admitted to me that she was having an affair. I wasn't jealous. She'd met someone that she really cared about, and I didn't want our sham of a marriage to stand in the way of that, so we filed divorce papers. A few weeks later, she found out he was married, too. The difference was he had no intention of ever leaving his wife."

"That must have been heartbreaking for her."

Edward nodded. "It was, but we still decided to go through with the divorce. Lauren is a very passionate person and wants to be loved. It would only be a matter of time before she met someone else. But then our lawyers started talking about custody agreements, and both of us just panicked. That's when we came up with our crazy plan to still live together and pose as husband and wife. It worked for us, though. Chrissy is…"

He swallowed down his emotion, and I squeezed his hand.

"Chrissy was happy, all the time. That was all that mattered to us." He smiled, despite the tears in his eyes. "We spoiled her rotten, but she was the most un-spoiled child in existence. Any gift she received—whether it was a little piece of candy or a gigantic swing set—she'd smile and clap and say it was the 'best ever.' That was her favorite phrase. Everything was _the best ever_, no matter what it was or how much it cost."

We grew quiet then, but this time, it wasn't awkward at all. He held my hand as he gazed out at the fountain, but he wasn't really looking at anything. He was lost in memories of his daughter—happy memories that would get him through the inevitable bad days that he'd have for the rest of his life. Some days, those memories would be enough. Some days, they wouldn't. But in this moment, he looked peaceful.

That was all that mattered to me.

"Thank you for the picnic, Bella," he finally whispered.

"Thank you, Edward."

We smiled at each other, and then he glanced at our entwined fingers.

"I like holding your hand," he said softly. "I like you."

"I like you, too."

"I want to kiss you."

I bowed my head and tried to hide my grin.

Very gently, he placed his finger beneath my chin, tilting my face toward his.

"Please," he whispered, his voice pleading.

Instinctively, my tongue moistened my lip, and that was apparently all the incentive he needed. His lips were sweet and soft against mine. He didn't try to deepen the kiss, and I was more than a little disappointed when he pulled away.

"I'm trying to behave, Bella."

"Me too."

He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Can I walk you to your class?"

All I could do was nod.

We gathered everything, placing it all back into his mom's picnic basket. Edward took my hand, and he didn't let it go until I was safely inside the humanities building.

I tried to concentrate on my professor. I really did. But I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I couldn't focus on anything. It didn't help that ten minutes into class, I felt my cell vibrate in my pocket.

I knew, without even looking, that it was a message from him.

When the teacher began to read from Sylvia Plath, I pulled my cell from my jeans and glanced at the screen.

_**In my cloudiest of days, you are my sun. ~Edward**_

* * *

**MC wrote a fantastic review for "Moments" over at Rob Attack. Thanks so much! Also, twistedinmasen made a beautiful banner for this story. You can see both on my SydneyAlice blog (the address is on my FF profile page).**

**Thanks! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Tissue warning.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

* * *

Even though I was completely overwhelmed by the sweet text message, I couldn't deny how happy it made me feel. If it had come from any other guy, I would have laughed it off as complete bullshit.

But it was from Edward, and I knew he was sincere.

It scared me.

It thrilled me.

It also gave me courage to invite him over to my apartment to watch a movie.

"Zombieland?" Edward asked, grinning at me. We weren't exactly snuggling on the couch, but we were sitting close with a blanket tucked around us. Refusing to be ignored, Oreo was nestled against Edward's side.

I nodded and pressed play on the remote. "You need to know that I have a serious crush on Jesse Eisenberg. I hope that's not a problem."

"Not at all," he replied. "This is perfect, actually. Emma Stone is the girl of my dreams."

"Is that right?"

"Well," he whispered, smiling sheepishly, "until recently, anyway."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's a good thing you're sweet. Otherwise, I'd think you were completely full of shit."

Edward chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I molded to his side as the movie began, trying to concentrate on Jesse and a little less on how good it felt to be held.

"You're too old for Emma Stone, anyway," I muttered.

"How old do you think I am?"

I searched his handsome face, and I knew he was much younger than his face reflected. Right now, he was sleep deprived and grief-stricken.

"Mid-twenties?"

"Twenty-seven," he confirmed.

"I'm twenty-three."

"Really? I would have guessed a little older, to be honest."

I pretended to pout. "I take it back. You aren't sweet at all."

Edward grinned and pulled me closer. "I just mean that you're very mature. Very wise for your age."

"Mom always said I had an old soul," I said.

"You've been through a lot for someone so young."

"So have you."

He lowered his head and kissed my forehead. Closing my eyes, I snuggled deeper into his arms. I looked up to find our faces unbelievably close, and in that moment, I found it a little hard to breathe. Edward reached for my hand, pulling it close to his lips. Very softly, he placed a kiss against my wrist. His mouth lingered there, and I sighed.

"Your pulse is racing," Edward murmured.

I wasn't at all surprised.

He pulled my hand close to his chest and placed my palm against his heart.

"So is yours," I whispered.

In an instant, my mouth was on his. I didn't think about the repercussions. I didn't care. Even when his groan echoed through me, and even as I climbed into his lap, I didn't think about the consequences of my action. I only _felt_.

And it felt amazing.

Completely intoxicated, and I was powerless.

_I was powerful._

With men, I'd never taken the initiative. To grip them by the hair and kiss them into oblivion.

Edward gave me that confidence, and if his deafening groans and his wandering hands were any indication, he was just as delirious with need.

"Touch me," I pleaded, and before I could blink, my blouse was gone, leaving me only in my bra. His shirt was next, and we both shuddered with pleasure when our bodies touched.

Skin on skin.

Heart to heart.

I gasped when his hands framed my face. His eyes were hooded and so unbelievably green.

I let my hands trail across his chest, finally resting on his arms. He wasn't overly muscular, but he was toned, and my fingers traced along the shape of his biceps. He had a scar on the very top of his shoulder, and I leaned forward, kissing it softly.

"Chicken pox. Twelve years old." he whispered.

I turned my head and brushed my hair aside. On the back of my neck was a mark about an inch in length.

"Curling iron. Seventh grade."

He placed a soft kiss against my scar. I let my hair fall back into place, and when our eyes met, we were both smiling. Lifting his hand, he gently caressed my face.

"Are we completely insane?" Edward asked, his voice just a whisper.

I didn't respond, but I knew the answer was yes.

We were absolutely crazy about each other.

* * *

"Earth to Bella. Your customers are starving."

It wasn't the first time Billy had caught me daydreaming today. I gave him an apologetic grin and grabbed the plates, rushing them over to my tables.

My head had been in the clouds since last night. I'd been so tempted to beg Edward to spend the night with me, but I was determined to take things slow, and I just didn't trust myself with him in my bed. Instead, we'd spent the rest of the evening on the sofa, making out underneath the blanket. He was sweet and gentle, and when he went home just after midnight, I'd missed him horribly. Once he'd arrived at his house, he'd sent me another sappy text and promised to call me after his appointment with the therapist.

Thankfully, the diner wasn't too terribly busy, so I took an early break and worked on some homework. I had to write a literary analysis on the Plath short story my professor had read in class, and for the first time in a very long time, it was hard for me relate to her eternal sadness.

It was the strangest feeling.

After my shift ended, I headed home and made something quick for dinner. I settled onto the couch and pulled Oreo into my lap while I finished watching the movie we'd ignored the night before. The blanket still smelled of him, so I wrapped it around me and tried in vain not to glance at my cell every five minutes.

As the night crept on, I felt that familiar sadness wash over me. A distinct loneliness.

_Something's wrong._

I grabbed my cell and dialed his number, only to get this voice mail.

I didn't bother leaving a message.

Therapy could be hell. Maybe Edward just needed some time to himself after his first session. I tried not to take it personally, but it was hard.

It was even harder the next day, when I was sitting in the middle of class and received his one and only text.

_**I need some time. I'm sorry. ~Edward**_

* * *

After three days of no contact, I became a little obsessive. I asked Rose if she'd heard anything about him, but she'd just shake her head and change the subject. My laptop became my best friend as I constantly googled Edward's name, just to make sure he hadn't died.

He hadn't.

I thought about calling his sister, but I had no idea how to reach her. I'd stopped calling his cell. It always went straight to voice mail, and hearing his voice broke my heart.

On day six, I started my period.

I took it as a sign, as if fate was stepping in and saving me from myself.

"Do you have decaf?"

I nodded numbly at the woman at the end of the counter. Thank god my shift was nearly over. Snow was piling up outside, and an additional six inches were forecasted overnight. Getting to campus would be loads of fun in the morning.

"Thanks," she said when I finished filling her mug.

"Can I get you anything else?"

She shook her head and sipped her coffee while I took her empty plate. The woman looked vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn't place her.

"You look as if your day has been as shitty as mine," the woman remarked.

Fantastic. Not only did I feel like hell, but I must have looked it, too.

"Shitty day. Shitty week," I muttered.

"What's that expression? Fake it 'til you make it?"

"I'm so tired of having to fake it."

"Me too," she replied quietly, and we shared a smile.

She was pretty, with black hair and silver hoops in her ears. Around her neck was a chain with a pink pendant. It didn't match her charcoal suit at all, which made me think it was probably a sentimental token.

"Do you like pink?"

She looked surprised. "Pink?"

"I noticed your necklace."

"Oh," the woman whispered, looking down at her chain. She gently toyed with the pendant. "It's funny. I used to hate pink. Now…what I'd give to…"

Her face fell, and I immediately regretted asking.

"I'm sorry."

The woman shook her head.

"No, it's fine. It's just…it's been a bad day. A bad week. A bad month."

She looked down at her mug and ran her finger along the rim. I noticed her nails were uneven and the polish was chipped, which surprised me considering the woman was impeccably dressed.

"Isn't it amazing how one moment can change your life forever? Something can happen that alters you so completely…so irrevocably, and there's no going back."

I nodded, because I did know. That moment, for me, had started right here in this diner.

"There's no time machine that can take you back to that moment, and I wish I could go back. I wish there was a way that I could close my eyes and click my ruby slippers, and I'd be right back in that car, with my little girl…"

The blood drained from my face.

_It can't be._

"She loved pink. Anything that sparkled," she whispered softly.

A tear trickled down her cheek, and I reached for a napkin. She thanked me and patted her face.

"Do you have children?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know if all children are like this, but my daughter hated her seatbelt. Our rule was the car didn't start until she was buckled, and it didn't unsnap until the car was quiet. That was our rule. But she was in the backseat, and she was so mischievous. She'd unsnap it, and I'd pull over until she snapped it back, because that was the rule."

The woman was sobbing now, and so was I.

Thank god the diner was empty.

"That day, we were on the freeway coming home from the park, and she unsnapped her seatbelt. I couldn't pull over! I couldn't just pull the car over and turn off the ignition. I had an SUV in one lane and a semi in the other, and I was sandwiched in the middle. I begged her to snap her seatbelt. I begged…"

I wrapped my arms around my middle and tried to control my breathing.

"I finally reached the exit, and I'd just turned onto a one-way street…and that's when he hit us."

_It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault._

"I'm sorry," she mumbled through her tears as she fumbled through her bag. "I have no idea why I told you that."

She pulled out some cash and tossed it onto the counter.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, and then she spun around on the stool. Her designer heels clicked against the tile as she rushed for the door.

"I'm sorry, too," I whispered.

* * *

***hides* ****Still love me? Maybe?**

**Silver lining? I seem to be updating daily, so it won't be a long wait!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

Because of the snow—and probably because he could tell I was a bit of a basket case—Billy offered to drive me home.

"You're off tomorrow, right?"

He was just making conversation, and while I appreciated the effort, I really wished he'd just let me wallow in my silent misery.

"Yeah."

He pointed the car toward my street. Traffic was light, which was good, because the roads looked dangerous.

"That's good, kid. I worry I'm working you too hard—what with school and all. Maybe we need to cut back on your shifts."

I panicked. "I can't pay for school without the diner! You can't, Billy. I need…"

"I know you need the money. I just worry about you, Bella."

"You don't worry about Rosalie," I grumbled like a child.

Billy laughed. "You're right, but Rose isn't going to college full-time. Besides, she has no problem telling me when she needs a break. You're more of the suffer-in-silence type."

He had no idea that, right now, my classes and the diner were the only things keeping me sane.

After promising that I'd get some rest tomorrow, I thanked Billy for the ride home and walked into my apartment building. It was late, and the halls were dimly lit, but that didn't matter.

I felt him before I even saw him.

I slowed my steps, and when I turned the corner, there he was.

Edward was sitting on the floor, with his head bowed and his back propped against my door.

He had avoided me for a week.

He was making it impossible for me to avoid him.

He jerked his head up. God, he looked awful. His eyes were tortured and his face was etched with strain, and all I wanted to do was hug him.

But he'd avoided me for a week, and I wasn't feeling charitable tonight.

"Move," I ordered.

Edward hastily jumped to his feet, swaying a little as he tried to gain his balance.

"Are you drunk?"

He laughed bitterly. "I wish I was drunk."

"That makes two of us."

His good manners kicked in, and he stepped aside while I unlocked my door. Once I was inside, I turned back around.

And promptly slammed the door in his handsome, tortured face.

* * *

He knocked.

And knocked.

I fed Oreo and then took a quick shower.

When I returned to the living room, he was still knocking.

I walked slowly over to the door and peeked through the hole. All I could see was his copper head, and all I could hear was his fist on my door. It wasn't loud, which is probably why the neighbors hadn't called the cops.

"You're on the other side of the door, aren't you?"

I quickly jumped back.

"I can _feel _you. How fucked up is that? That's not normal, is it?"

I answered him silently, shaking my head. No, it wasn't normal at all.

"Bella, I think I'm showing amazing restraint by not breaking down your door…again. Frankly, I haven't slept in days and I just don't have the strength."

I slid down to the ground and rested my head against the door.

"You needed time," I said softly. My voice sounded so wounded, but I couldn't hide it. Not with him.

He was quiet for a few painful moments.

"Yes," he finally whispered.

"Why?"

"Are we really going to have this discussion with a door between us?"

Our voices were so calm and soft. It was the strangest thing.

"I can't let you in, Edward."

"Why can't you?"

"Because I let you in, and you broke my heart."

We both knew I wasn't talking about the apartment.

"I didn't mean to break your heart, baby," Edward said. "If it's any consolation, I broke mine, too. I've missed you more than you can imagine."

It wasn't any consolation, and I could imagine it vividly.

"I had every intention of calling you after my first therapy session. I'd decided that I was going to take you out to dinner. Maybe go to a movie. Have an actual date. That was my plan. But therapy was…very eye-opening. Our first session was one hour, and at the end of that hour, the doctor asked why I'd made the appointment. I told him I was there because I'd just lost my daughter. He then asked my daughter's name, and it seemed so strange that he needed to ask, considering I'd been doing nothing but running my mouth for an hour. But then he showed me his notes, and there was only one name on that yellow legal pad. It was yours, Bella. I'd done nothing but talk about you for the entire sixty minutes."

I closed my eyes as my tears began to fall.

"Eleazar—he's the psychiatrist—suggested daily therapy sessions. Isn't that crazy? I apparently need massive doses of counseling to deal with my grief. Or, as he puts it, my complete denial of my grief. I didn't think I was denying anything, but that first therapy sessions suggested otherwise, so…"

I heard him sigh loudly, and I ached to touch him.

"My doctor was concerned about my relationship with you," he continued with a whisper. "The way we met, the sex, my wild attraction to you. He started spewing some bullshit about how I was replacing my grief for my daughter with my feelings for you, and until I dealt with my loss, I couldn't really be what you needed. He called you my drug. My addiction. I was using you to relieve my pain. But just like with alcohol, when the buzz is gone, the underlying pain is still there."

It made so much sense. Wasn't I doing the same thing? Moving to a new city and going to school. My drug of choice was working my tired body into an early grave and making something of myself so that I wouldn't have to go back to my old life. It was a noble goal, but I wasn't dealing with my pain. I wasn't doing anything but covering it up, hoping that time would heal the wound of losing my dad.

"It made me miserable, to know how unfair I was being to you. I needed some distance, because God knows I can't think straight when I'm around you. And I know I was such an asshole—just sending a text like that. But I couldn't see you, Bella. I couldn't look into those brown eyes and that beautiful face and tell you that I needed time. I wasn't strong enough to do that, and I'm sorry."

With a heavy sigh, I rose to my feet and unlocked the door. Just as I thought, he was propped against it, and when he looked up at me with those dark green eyes, I nearly wept.

"Come in," I whispered.

* * *

I fixed cups of tea instead of reaching for the wine, because we both needed to keep a clear head. When I returned from the kitchen, Edward was sitting on the couch. Oreo had snuggled right into his lap. He thanked me for his mug as I sat down next to him.

"I have a question," I said.

"Okay."

"If your therapist is so against you seeing me, why are you here?"

"Because I missed you, and because Rosalie said she was going to cut off my balls if I didn't give you something besides a text message."

I smiled. Rosalie was a true friend, after all.

"But mostly because I missed you, and despite what my therapist thinks, I know that my feelings for you are genuine. I know they are. It might not be the right time to dive head-first into a serious relationship, and I accept that. But what I feel for you…" his voice trailed off as he tried to find the words. "It scares the shit out of me, to be honest. I've never been an affectionate person, Bella. I've never sent sappy text messages or broken down a girl's door. What I feel for you is very overwhelming."

"I'm overwhelmed, too," I admitted quietly. "But I can't take the hot and cold. We can't be making out on my sofa one minute and then you disappear without a word for days at a time. My heart can't take it. I know you have emotions to work through, and I'm completely fine with just being friends for now. Just be honest with me, please."

He reached for my hand.

"I will, I promise."

_Speaking of honesty…_

"I need to tell you something," I said.

His eyes widened. "If you tell me you've met someone else, I'm really going to need something stronger than this tea."

I shook my head and laughed. "No, I haven't met anyone."

Edward squeezed my hand.

"I'm not pregnant."

"Oh."

"I just thought you should know."

"Well, thank you for telling me." He was trying so hard to disguise the disappointment in his voice, but I heard it. "That's probably for the best, right?"

"Probably, yeah."

I knew, instinctively, that I should also be honest about meeting Lauren. I just wasn't sure that tonight was the night for that conversation.

"It's late. I should let you sleep," Edward said softly.

He gave Oreo one more scratch behind the ear before rising off the couch. I followed him to the door, where he stopped abruptly. He turned back toward me, his eyes full of fear.

"Can you forgive me?"

Unable to resist, I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my cheek to his chest. Edward sighed softly and nuzzled the top of my hair. His arms enveloped me, holding me close.

"I forgive you," I whispered.

"I want to be better for you, Bella."

I lifted my head and looked into his sweet eyes.

"Don't be better for me. Be better for you," I said. "You need time, and I understand that. Anybody would need some time after everything you've been through. I'm not going anywhere, Edward. Just don't shut me out, please."

Edward smiled softly down at me.

"Do you know how desperately I want to kiss you right now?"

"Yes, but you can't."

His smile grew. "Friends kiss, you know."

"They don't kiss like we do."

His eyes flickered to my mouth.

"Doctor's orders," I reminded him.

Edward closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "Okay."

Later that night, when I was lying in bed with my furry cat at my feet, I thought about Edward's therapist and the things he'd said.

I didn't want to be an addiction.

I'd lived with addiction, and it was devastating.

My parents had never been major drinkers. Dad would have a beer with dinner or while watching a game, and mom had the occasional glass of wine, but otherwise, they rarely touched it.

That all changed when my father died.

In that moment, my mother became the poster child for AA. In a matter of months, she'd drank away any chance I had of going to college, leaving me broke and bitter.

_I was using you to relieve my pain. But just like with alcohol, when the buzz is gone, the underlying pain is still there._

Maybe that's why my mother lived with a bottle in her hand—so that the buzz would be permanent, and she'd never have to feel the ache of losing her husband.

Suddenly, it was so clear.

Edward wasn't the only one who was grieving.

And in that moment, I knew what I had to do. I didn't have a choice.

I wanted to be better for him, too.

I wanted to be better for me.

* * *

**Love you all. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

* * *

Despite the fact I didn't have to work, I still found myself at the diner the next day. Rose was eating a sandwich on her break, and I was keeping her company in a booth in the far back.

"I'm going to visit my mom for a few days."

Rosalie arched an eyebrow. "I thought you never wanted to go back to Forks?"

"I don't."

The great thing about Rose is that she rarely asked questions. She's a very mind-your-own-business kind of chick, and I appreciated that. But she was my friend, and she'd be worried if I was gone for a few days. Besides, someone would have to pick up my missed shifts, and while the part-time girl was okay, I still felt a little guilty.

"I've already cleared it with Billy. I just wanted you to know that Claire would be covering for me."

"Claire's okay," she said. "She's not you, but she'll do."

I grinned. "I have another favor."

"Shoot."

"Will you check-in on Oreo? Make sure he has water and food?"

Rose wrinkled her nose. "Do I have to clean the litter box?"

"Nope."

"Good," she said with a smile. "Listen, Bella, I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you more about Edward when he disappeared. Emmett asked me to stay out of it. That was hard, because you're my friend…"

"It's okay, Rose. When you make a promise, you keep it. That's one of the great things about you."

She sighed with relief.

"I think the two of you could be very good for each other. You just have to keep your hands to yourselves for a while."

I took a long sip of tea.

"I started my period."

"You don't sound too happy about that."

I shrugged. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, to be honest. Logically, I knew it was probably for the best, but I couldn't deny that a very small part of me wished something good and miraculous could happen in my life…just once.

But the timing was wrong. I understood that.

"So, tell me about this trip to Forks," Rosalie said.

I'd just started telling her about my plans when I saw Lauren walk inside the diner. She was with a man, and they took a seat in the first booth. Rose glanced over her shoulder. Claire appeared from the back and took their order.

"You know Ben?" she asked.

"Ben?"

"That's Ben Cheney. He's a lunch regular. Works at the law office next door. Good tipper."

"Do you recognize the woman he's with?"

"No, why?"

"That's Lauren."

Rose's eyes narrowed. "Lauren? Edward's ex-wife?"

I nodded, and she glanced over her shoulder once more.

"She doesn't even look like the same woman in that picture we saw on the Internet. Wasn't her hair a little longer?"

"Yeah, I didn't recognize her at all when she was in here last night, but then she started talking about her daughter and seatbelts…it's her, and it was heartbreaking, Rose."

"Then the bitch should have made sure her baby was buckled into her car seat!"

Every head turned in our direction, including Lauren's. Our eyes locked, and her face was ashen. She whispered something to Ben, and he turned toward us.

_If looks could kill…_

They muttered something to Claire, grabbed their coats, and hastily made their way out the door.

Rosalie smiled triumphantly, and I shook my head.

"Rose, she's suffering, too."

"Not nearly as much as that little girl suffered," she muttered. "I can't believe you're defending her."

I was so tempted to tell her what really happened on the day of the accident, but I couldn't. Not until I told Edward. Thankfully, she changed the subject, and I told her about my desire to see my mom. She seemed to understand, and after promising to call tomorrow, I headed home to pack.

I was nervous about the trip. It'd been months since I'd even heard my mom's voice, and she'd been completely stunned when I'd called this morning to let her know I was coming home for a quick visit. I had no idea what I'd find when I arrived. I just prayed she was relatively sober. She'd sounded fairly coherent and seemed excited that I was coming home, even if it was just for a few days.

I had just finished zipping my bag when my cell vibrated on my nightstand. The name on the screen made me smile.

"Hey."

"Hey," Edward said softly. "How was your day off?"

I kicked off my shoes and stretched out on my bed. "It was busy, actually. I needed to make arrangements for the next couple of days."

I told him about my trip to Forks, and how our conversation had been the catalyst for it.

"You're anxious, I can tell," he said softly.

"I am," I admitted with a sigh. "I have no idea what I'll find when I get there. This could be a gigantic mistake, but I think I need to go. I need to try to make some sort of peace with her, and with myself."

He was quiet for a few seconds before he finally asked, "Do you want some company?"

"What do you mean?"

"I could go with you," Edward said, his voice quiet and low. "I'm worried about you handling this alone, to be honest. Like you said, you have no idea what you'll find. I'd be happy to go with you. It would give me the chance to support you for a change."

I was so tempted to say yes. It would be nice to have some moral support, but I wasn't sure about taking a man home to meet my mother. She'd definitely get the wrong idea.

"I'll worry," he whispered.

My heart literally skipped a beat.

"You don't need to worry about me, Edward."

"We're friends, right? Friends worry about each other. You've helped me so much. Let me return the favor."

_Friends._ How could such a comforting word sound so…wrong?

"I don't know, Edward. What about work?"

He snorted. "I'm part owner of the company. They can live without me for a few days."

"What about therapy?"

"Eleazar's actually gone to a conference for the next two days. I have his cell number if I need it."

I closed my eyes and sighed. _So tempting._

"You're out of excuses, Bella. Just this one time, let me take care of you."

It _would _be nice to have a friend by my side.

"Just this once," I whispered.

* * *

"You're nervous."

I couldn't imagine what would make him think so. Maybe it was the fact that I'd been gnawing on my nails since the minute we passed the Forks welcome sign.

Anxiety was actually a nice distraction because the sexual tension in the car had been absolute _hell_ for nearly four hours.

We'd been so good. He hadn't touched me once, not even a brush of his hand against mine while I drove. But I'd sometimes catch him watching me, and when I was sure he wasn't looking, I'd sneak a glimpse at his handsome face.

This _friends_ thing would be the death of me.

More than once, I'd tried to broach the subject of Lauren, but I always chickened out. I promised myself I'd tell him during our visit to Forks. We'd always been honest with each other, and while I hadn't done anything wrong, I felt a little guilty that I'd had a conversation with his ex-wife and hadn't told him a thing about it.

"What would relax you, Bella? Music?"

I shook my head.

"Dinner?"

"Edward, the mere thought of food makes me queasy."

"Sex?"

I shot him a glare.

"It was just a suggestion," he smirked. "I hate to see you this tense, and sex is a fantastic stress reliever."

"And you are a complete tease. You know we can't."

"I know, but your jaw is no longer clenched and you don't have a death grip on the steering wheel, so I think my distraction technique was pretty successful."

"Oh, so you _were_ teasing. You don't want to have sex?"

"I always want to have sex with you, Bella."

This silly conservation had just taken a very serious turn. Sighing heavily, I resumed biting my thumbnail and turned onto my old street.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he stared out his window. "I'll try to behave, I promise."

"Me, too."

I'd barely driven a mile when he turned his head toward me.

"Do you ever think about that night?"

"I thought you were going to behave?"

"I said I'd try. Damn, Bella, I've been in a car with you for almost four hours. I think I've shown amazing restraint. I haven't touched you at all. Do you know how difficult that is? Wanting to touch someone so much that your fingers _itch_?"

_Yes._

Nervously, I tapped my chipped nails on the steering wheel.

"Yes, I think about it. I think about it all the time."

His voice was soft. "Do you regret it?"

It was such a loaded question. I decided to be honest.

"No, I don't regret it. I do regret the timing, though. We shouldn't have had sex that night. You were devastated with grief, and it's made everything confusing. We've done everything backwards."

"I know," he said. "And trying to be _just_ your friend is impossible. I just want to touch you…"

I laughed softly and offered him my right hand.

"Friends can hold hands," I said.

He laced his fingers with mine, and we both sighed at the contact. What he didn't realize was that I needed his touch, too. Especially now that we were approaching my mom's driveway.

"Edward, I feel like I should prepare you. My dad was a cop, and my mom stayed home with me. We didn't have a lot of money, so my house is modest and small and—"

"Bella, it's okay."

"I know, it's just that you're used to mansions and black-tie events, and this is…Forks. Our little white house has two bedrooms and one bath that we all shared. It's just a regular house, and when I left it was a shithole…"

He squeezed my hand.

"Sweetheart, stop. It's fine."

I took a deep breath and pulled the car into the driveway. After turning off the ignition, we sat there and stared at the tiny house.

It was no longer white. It was now painted a pretty shade of light blue with shrubs lining the sidewalk. When I'd moved out, the porch had been littered with garbage bags and cardboard boxes full of my take-out cartons and her vodka bottles. This house was cozy and warm and so much like the house I remembered from my childhood.

"Ready to go inside?" Edward asked softly.

I nodded.

We grabbed our overnight bags and walked hand-in-hand toward the porch. Before knocking on the door, I turned to him.

"Thank you for coming with me."

Edward lifted my hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss along my knuckles.

"Thank you for letting me."

We shared a smile, and I knocked on the door. It only took a second before it swung open, revealing a bright-eyed Renee.

"You're home!"

She was just dressed casually in jeans and a Seahawks hoodie, but her eyes were clear and her skin was flawless. But it was her smile…her smile was blinding white and beautiful.

"Bella, you didn't tell me you were bringing a guest!" Her voice was ringing with excitement as she got a good look at the man by my side. "I'm Renee."

Because I was stunned speechless, Edward took control and extended his hand.

"I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you."

Mom tugged on my arm. "Come in out of the cold. Are you hungry? How was the drive?"

Edward answered her questions while my stunned gaze took in the kitchen. Gone were the ancient appliances and old wooden table. Everything was now stainless steel and sleek. Modern. Beautiful.

_What the hell?_

"What is all this?" I asked, gesturing around the room.

"Do you like it? We've been renovating."

"We've?"

Mom waved us toward the table. Edward must have sensed that I couldn't feel my legs, because he gently took my elbow and led me to a chair.

"I'm so glad you're home, honey," Mom said after we'd all taken a seat. "There's someone I want you to meet."

As if on cue, a man suddenly appeared from the living room. He, too, had on a Seahawks sweatshirt.

"You must be Bella," he said, smiling at me. "I've heard so much about you."

He seemed nice enough, but suddenly, it all made sense.

New kitchen.

New man.

New life.

And it pissed me off.

"That's funny, because I haven't heard a thing about you," I snapped as I jumped to my feet.

"Bella…" Mom whispered.

"Don't _Bella_ me. Who is he?"

"This is Phil," she said softly, smiling at him so sweetly that I wanted to vomit. "He's my husband. Your stepfather."

_Husband._

_Stepfather._

The room began to spin.

"Sweetheart," Edward murmured, jumping to his feet and wrapping his arm around my waist as I began to sway.

"Get me out of here," I begged.

Taking my hand, he quickly rushed me out onto the front porch, letting the door slam behind us.

* * *

**"Moments" has been nominated for Fic of the Week over at TLS! If you'd like to vote, the website is .net.**

**See you soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: "Moments" is one of the Fics of the Week over at TLS. Thanks for voting!**

**I have some fun news at the bottom. :)**

* * *

Chapter 10

* * *

"It's peaceful up here," Edward said softly.

"It is."

No matter how much had changed about the house, at least my old tree house still remained. Dad had built it for my eighth birthday, and I'd spent hours (and some nights) barricaded in my little house in the giant sycamore tree. It'd been neglected for years, so naturally it was a little run-down and dirty, but in this moment, it was sacred. It was my fortress. It was my protection.

As were Edward's arms, which were wrapped tightly around me.

It hadn't even been a question. He'd simply sat down against the wooden wall and opened his arms to me, and I'd gone willingly. I'd cried. I'd cursed. I'd cried some more.

Now, I was all cried out, and my back was pressed to his chest while he nuzzled my hair.

Friends don't nuzzle. Friends don't hold each other like this.

But I was selfish.

He was selfish, too.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Bella."

"I was just thinking that we really suck at this friends thing."

He chuckled. "_That's_ what you're thinking?"

"Right at this moment, yes."

Edward hugged me tightly. "That's better than tears, I guess. It was very hard, watching you cry like that."

I sighed and leaned my head back against his shoulder.

"How could she?" I whispered, my voice breaking. "I've been busting my ass—working at the diner and going to school full-time. If it weren't for tips, there would be some months I wouldn't even be able to pay my rent. But I manage. I do it. And I'm proud of myself for doing it, but..."

My voice trailed off as I blinked back my tears.

"And here she is. Happy. Sober. Renovating. _Remarried. _And she didn't even bother to tell me?"

"How long had it been since you'd spoken?"

"Since the day I moved out."

"Which was?"

"Six months ago," I replied softly. "My dad's barely been gone a year, and now she's remarried."

"I know that's hard for you—seeing your mom with another man. But she's sober. Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe he saved her, just like you saved me."

I twisted around in his arms because I needed to see his face. I needed to see his eyes.

"Why was it hard to watch me cry?"

He smirked. "Are we changing the subject?"

"For now, yes."

He smiled softly and stroked my cheek.

"Why was it so hard to watch me cry?" I repeated.

"Isn't it obvious, Bella?"

I bowed my head, but he refused to let me hide. Instead, he placed his hand against my chin and gently lifted my face toward his.

"You don't love me, Edward."

He leaned close, kissing the tip of my nose.

My voice was just a whisper. "Please don't."

My heart couldn't take it. I was upset and confused and he was holding me so close.

"Don't what, Bella?"

He rubbed his nose against mine before placing a soft kiss against my cheek. His breath against my face made me shiver.

"Don't love me," I said softly.

Edward's eyes found mine.

"Too late," he whispered.

I whimpered when he brushed his lips against mine. It was just a gentle kiss, but it still managed to curl my toes and set my body on fire.

"We still need to take our time, because I know it's the right thing to do," Edward said softly. "But I can't be your friend. I can't be near you and pretend that I'm not in love with you."

"But your therapist.."

"My therapist was right in that I was so wrapped up in you that I couldn't deal with my loss. But that was my fault, not yours. So we'll slow down with the physical side of things, but I will not pretend I don't love you. I can't do that, Bella."

I buried my face against his neck and wept.

Again.

"I love you, baby," he murmured as he held me close, rocking us gently, "and I don't want you to think that I love you because I'm grieving or because you saved my life. I love you because you gave me something to live for."

I clung to him, my fists digging into his hair as I tried to pull him closer. It was impossible. Every inch of me touched every part of him, and I basked in the warmth of his arms.

"I love you, too," I said softly.

I felt him shudder with relief as he groaned, holding me against his body. We held onto each other, whispering softly and kissing tenderly, until finally I rested my head against his chest.

"I can't imagine how your mom felt when your dad was killed," Edward said. "But if it's anything like I felt when Chrissy died…I can absolutely understand why she turned to alcohol. Maybe that's how it is with your Mom and Phil. Maybe he gave her something to live for, too."

"But why wasn't I enough?" I asked, realizing in that moment that _this _was what hurt me the most. "Why wasn't I enough to save her? Why couldn't she be better for _me_? I'm not a mother, but shouldn't your daughter be enough motivation to change your life?"

"Very valid questions," Edward replied softly. "Why don't we go ask her and find out?"

He was right. As much as I loved my tree house, and as much as I loved him, my answers couldn't be found here.

"Okay."

* * *

When we returned to the kitchen, I didn't look at the sparkling new appliances or the new wallpaper. All I could see was my mom, sitting at the table, crying softly.

_My fault._

Phil was by her side, whispering into her ear. Her head shot up, and that's when she saw us standing in the doorway.

"You didn't leave."

Despite her red eyes, she still looked a thousand times healthier than she looked the day I moved out.

Renee sprang from her chair. "Do you still like tea? I was just making some…"

Edward and I sat down at the table.

"You hate tea."

"She loves it now," Phil said, his mouth twisted in a grin. "Chamomile, lemon, jasmine, peppermint. Some I can't even pronounce."

I watched in stunned disbelief as my mom made…tea. She was so different, and not just because she was making tea. She was standing a little straighter, a little prouder. Her hair was shining and healthy.

Edward squeezed my hand. "So, I assume by the sweatshirts that you're Seahawks fans?"

God bless him for trying to make conversation.

"I'm contractually obligated to be," Phil said, laughing. "I'm one of the team's physicians."

_Mom married a doctor._

"They're having a great season," Edward replied, and the boys talked sports as Mom walked around the table, pouring tea. The aroma of peppermint filled the air, and my shaking hands wrapped around my mug. Mom sat next to Phil, and we awkwardly stared at each other as the guys talked about the Hawks' chances of making the Super Bowl.

"We seem to be the only two talking," Phil said to Edward.

"So it would seem, yeah."

He glanced down at his watch. "Maybe we should go check out the plasma screen. The game just kicked off."

Edward leaned close. "Are you okay? I'll stay if you want."

"I'll be fine," I whispered.

He kissed my cheek, and I watched as Phil did the same to my mom before both guys headed to the living room.

"Phil seems nice."

Mom took a long sip of tea. "He is. He's very nice."

I nodded and lifted my mug to my lips. It was sweet and warm.

"Edward seems nice, too."

This was so awkward.

"He's very gentle with you," Mom continued softly. "I'm assuming he isn't just a friend."

_Good grief, are we that obvious?_

"No, he's not."

She smiled. "That makes me very happy."

"Does it?"

"Yes," she said with a sigh. "Mike Newton was never good enough for you."

I couldn't argue with that.

"How long have you known each other?"

"A couple of weeks," I replied.

Her eyes widened. "You're kidding! I mean, you just seem so...close."

"We are close."

"Hmm."

She took another long sip. I could tell she was dying to ask how close, but she wisely kept her thoughts to herself.

"How long have you been married?"

"Two months."

"I assume my invitation got lost in the mail?"

Renee carefully placed her mug on the table. "Would you have come?"

"Nope."

"Then why waste a stamp?"

I sighed deeply and drained my cup. We were still just as stubborn as ever.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't be rude to you. I'm sure this is a shock. It's just that…you made it very clear when you left that you'd never be back. We hadn't spoken in six months, and I assumed you'd moved on with your life. That's what I _wanted_. There was nothing here for you, Bella. As much as your moving to Seattle scared me to death, I wasn't so drunk that I couldn't recognize that you needed to go. That's why I didn't stop you, and that's why I didn't invite you."

"You didn't want me here," I whispered.

"No, I didn't, but not for the reasons you think," she said. "Isabella, when your father died…I felt as if I'd died, too, and I know you can't understand that. Losing your husband, losing your best friend…words cannot describe how devastating that is. The grief that just grips your heart every time you look at his fishing rod hanging on the wall, or his pick-up truck in the driveway, or his uniform in the closet…or his big brown eyes, on the face of your beautiful, beautiful daughter."

Tears trickled down my cheeks.

"All I wanted to do was die," she said bleakly. "So I drank, and I drank, because if I couldn't be dead, at least I'd be numb."

"I needed you," I whispered. "I might have been an adult, but I needed my mother."

"I know you did, but I couldn't take care of you. I couldn't take care of _me_. So when you said you were moving in with Mike, I didn't even try to stop you. I was toxic, Bella, and you needed as far away from me as you could get."

"What changed?"

"One day, the pastor of the Methodist church found me at the grocery store, in the liquor aisle. Handed me a pamphlet for AA. I don't know why I didn't throw it in the trash. About a week later, Jessica Stanley was killed by a drunk driver on the I-5. Do you remember her?"

I nodded. Jessica had been the head cheerleader at Forks High during our senior year. She was always smiling and happy. We didn't exactly run in the same circles, but she'd always been nice to me.

"The whole town was just devastated, and it really made me think. How many times had I driven drunk? How many kids could I have killed? I went to the viewing and watched Jessica's mom weep over her child's coffin, and all I could think about was what if that was my daughter? Or, what if I'd been the drunk driver…"

Renee dabbed her eyes with a tissue. "The next day, I called the church, and I started attending AA meetings on Fridays. That's where I met Phil."

"Phil's an alcoholic?"

"No, but his father had been. During the off-season, Phil does motivational speeches. He's friends with the pastor of the church, so they invited him to one of our AA meetings. We became friends, and…"

"The rest is history?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah," Mom grinned. "He makes me happy, Bella."

Edward had been right. Phil had saved my mom's life. How could I be anything but grateful?

"I'm glad you're happy, Mom. I really am."

"Thank you, but I still owe you an apology. God, I owe you so many apologies. I'm sorry I wasn't a better mother. I'm sorry that I let my drinking become the only important thing…."

She handed me a tissue. I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"Part of the process is making amends…saying you're sorry, and I wanted to call you so many times. I wanted to find you, but I also didn't want to disrupt your life. So I just prayed. I prayed every night that you were safe and happy, and if you were, that you'd let me know. And then you called, and it was like my every prayer had been answered."

"I wasn't calling to tell you I was happy," I whispered through my tears. "I wanted to see you because I was so tired of feeling bitter and cold whenever I thought of you."

I told her about my life in Seattle. About my break-up with Mike. My job at the diner. My full course load, and she listened intently, drowning in any tidbit of information I gave her.

"I wish I'd known," she murmured gently. "We can help you now! We can find you a better apartment, help with your tuition…"

"I don't want your money," I said, shaking my head. "I admit it. I hated you for a long time because you drank away my college fund, but I like being independent. I like knowing that everything I have is because I've earned it. Besides, if it wasn't for working at the diner, I wouldn't have met Edward."

I then told her about the night we met—minus the mention of sex. There were just some things you don't share with your mom, no matter how old you are.

"That poor man," she whispered.

"He's in therapy, and his doctor suggested we take things slowly, so we're trying to do that. He needs time to heal."

She smiled at me. "You love him."

"Yes, I do."

"He loves you, too. It's very obvious. And he's quite handsome." She grinned and wiggled her eyebrows. "Good luck with taking it slow."

"Thanks, a lot," I said, laughing.

Seeing her happy made me happy, and I felt it. All the bitterness and sadness that had lived in my heart for so long was slowly drifting away. It wasn't completely gone, and we weren't completely healed…

But we could be.

Someday.

"Well, all this laughter sounds promising," Phil said as he walked back into the room. Edward was right behind him, watching me closely with a hopeful smile on his face.

I stood up and walked around the table, wrapping my arms around my mom. She sniffled and hugged me close.

Yes, I was her child, but I was also an adult, and it was time I started acting like one.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

We hugged for a long time, and then I turned to my stepfather.

"Thank you for saving my mom," I whispered.

And then, I hugged him, too.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Happy birthday to caren! Total coincidence, but this chapter is for you! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

* * *

Mom and I spent the next day in this awkward dance. She'd ask a question about my life, I'd ask a question about hers, and I'd try not to get pissed whenever she answered.

She told me about Phil's gated community in Seattle and the swanky NFL black-tie events she'd attended, and my bitterness would blind me. I'd see visions of my shitty apartment or the greasy diner, and I'd wonder for the thousandth time why she'd never tried to find me.

I wasn't sure how this forgiveness thing really worked, but I had a feeling I was doing it all wrong.

The plasma screen blared as we watched the Seahawks play the Titans in Nashville. I was nestled against Edward's side on the loveseat while Mom and Phil sat on the sectional. It was strange, seeing my mom sitting next to a man who wasn't my father, but I couldn't deny that Phil was great. He was kind and soft-spoken.

Well, he was soft-spoken unless a football game was on television. That's when the profanities would fly, and we'd all stifle our laughter as he bitched at one of his players.

"Why aren't you at the game?" I asked at halftime.

"The team doctors rotate games," he explained. "It keeps us from being away from our families for too long."

"That must be hard on the two of you," Edward said.

"It can be," Mom replied. "It won't be as bad once I'm living in Seattle."

The blood drained from my face.

"You're moving to Seattle?"

She nodded. "That's why we renovated the house, to help it sell quicker. We just closed the deal, and I'm moving in a couple of weeks."

My stomach churned. Sensing my anxiety, Edward's arm tightened around me.

_She's selling the house and moving to Seattle._

"It's perfect, especially now that we've…reconnected. I know Seattle is a big city, but it'll be so nice to live in the same town with you. We can really get to know each other again."

"And Bella, I know this is a lot to take in, but we'd really love it if you lived with us," Phil said, his voice soft. "I know how expensive rent can be, and you could put that money toward college. You wouldn't have to work so much at the diner. Would you at least consider it?"

No, but I couldn't tell him that, so I simply nodded. They both smiled and turned their attention back to the game.

After a late lunch, Edward and I loaded our bags into the car. Everyone hugged and promised to keep in touch, and I wondered if I was the only one who felt as if it was forced…or phony.

Except that it wasn't.

Mom and I exchanged phone numbers, and Phil gave me his number and address in Seattle. He'd be in town later that week, and he invited us over for dinner. They seemed determined to keep in contact with me, and while I knew it'd take time to repair the damage we'd done to each other, I knew we had to find some peace. After all, that's why I'd made this trip—to give myself the chance to move on.

Instead, I was giving myself the chance to grow up.

Edward offered to drive us back to the city, and I was grateful. My mind was jumbled and confused, and I thanked my lucky stars that I'd ignored my gut instinct and invited him to come with me.

We'd been driving for half an hour before Edward finally broke the silence.

"You're so quiet."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, baby," he said, smiling and wrapping his hand in mine. "Just talk to me. This trip wasn't at all what you expected was it?"

I laughed. "That's an understatement."

He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "It wasn't all bad, was it?"

We smiled at each other as we remembered the tree house.

"No, it wasn't all bad. Actually, none of it was _bad._ It was just…overwhelming and confusing. I think I need to visit your therapist and learn how to properly forgive someone, because I'm sure I'm doing it wrong. I mean, I know she apologized, but I'm still—"

"Bitter."

"Yes."

"You will be for a while," Edward said softly. "Months of bottled up frustration isn't going to disappear overnight, Bella. You need time. Maybe with your mom moving to the city, you'll get that time. Get to know each other again. Have the mother-daughter relationship that you really want…"

His voice trailed off, and I knew he was thinking of his daughter. With all that had happened with my mom, I'd completely forgotten to bring up the subject of Lauren. Was this the right time? Would there ever be a right time?

"I was thinking about Phil's offer," he continued. "You know, to let you move in with them. What do you think about that?"

"I think my crappy apartment is just fine."

Edward sighed.

"What is it?"

He shook his head. "I just think you should consider it, that's all."

"Don't you think it'd be a touch hypocritical of me to live in her sprawling mansion when I haven't forgiven her? You just said that forgiveness takes time."

"It does. I just think accepting their help will make things easier on you," Edward said.

"I don't want their help."

"Then let me help you."

I gasped.

"There is no way I'm letting you help me with school."

He pressed his lips into a hard line and continued to drive.

The uncomfortable silence dragged on for fifty miles before I finally asked him to pull over at the next rest stop. I needed to stretch my legs, and we both needed some fresh air.

And I needed to tell him about Lauren.

I sat down on one of the benches while he headed toward the vending machines. He returned with caffeine and Reese's Cups.

"How did you know I love these?" I grinned as I ripped into the package.

Edward smiled at my enthusiasm. "I didn't. It's just habit, I guess. Chrissy loved them and always begged for Reese's whenever we took road trips. Lauren always bitched that she shouldn't have junk food, but Lauren bitched about the most ridiculous things."

I sighed deeply.

"Edward, I have to tell you something about Lauren."

He looked confused. "Okay..."

"I met her," I blurted quickly. "It was completely by accident. She came into the diner. I didn't even know it was her, but then she started telling me about her daughter, and the car seat, and the accident, and…she was so devastated, Edward. She was sobbing…"

His face was stone, so like a fool, I kept talking.

"She…she said that Chrissy hated her car seat…that she always unsnapped the seatbelt, and normally, Lauren would pull over and strap her back in, but on that day, she was on the interstate, and she couldn't get pulled over…"

"Stop," he whispered. His voice was detached and dead.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. We've tried to be honest with each other, but I didn't know how to tell you this, because I know you hate her. Your whole family hates her, and you probably have your reasons, but…"

"But what, Bella?" His voice was so hollow and cold. "You believe her? Because she shed a few tears, you assume she was Mother of the Year?"

"No, that's not what I meant…"

"She killed my daughter, Bella."

I swallowed anxiously. "I can see why you'd feel that way, but—"

"She killed my daughter."

He slowly stood and walked back toward the car. This time, he sat in the passenger seat.

I tossed my uneaten Reese's Cup into the trash and made my way to the car.

The drive home was agonizing. Edward didn't speak. He just stared out at the highway, his face a blank mask. I wanted to grab his cell and punch whichever speed dial number would connect me with his therapist, but I didn't touch him.

And he didn't touch me.

Not even when we were back at my apartment. He simply called a cab to take him home.

He didn't even bother saying goodbye.

Or that he loved me.

* * *

I was expecting the old Edward—disappearing for days at a time without a word, so imagine my surprise when I found him waiting for me the next afternoon at our fountain just outside the fine arts building. This time, there was no picnic basket, just the handsome face of the man I loved.

"Hi," I whispered as I sat next to him.

"Hi."

He threaded his hand through mine, and I gave it a squeeze.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Me, too."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella."

I agreed with him. It wasn't as if I'd invited Lauren into the diner.

"But my timing could have been better," I allowed.

"It wouldn't have mattered," he said, sighing and tracing my fingers with his own. "I've spent so much time hating her that I sometimes forget that she really was a good mom. I mean, no, she didn't allow junk food in the house, and she hated for Chrissy to play in the sandbox because it dirtied her clothes, but that didn't make her a bad mother. It made her obsessive-compulsive and irritating, but she really loved our little girl and only wanted the best for her."

I nodded.

"It's true about the seatbelt," Edward whispered. "Chrissy loved the car seat, but she hated to be buckled into it. She'd unsnap it, and we'd pull over and snap it back. She'd laugh, because to her it was just a game. She didn't realize we were just trying to keep her safe."

He took a deep breath.

"Lauren told all of us the same story she told you. The police have no reason to believe she isn't telling the truth. It's just...I need to blame _someone_, and it's easy to blame her. And I have my own guilt to deal with, because I feel relieved that I don't have to pretend to love Lauren, and the only reason I don't have to pretend anymore is because Chrissy is gone…"

I pulled him close, and he lowered his head against my shoulder.

"Hearing you say it, hearing how you felt compassion for her…it made me realize that I'd been horribly unfair to her. When I left you, I went straight to Eleazar. He called it some kind of breakthrough, but it didn't feel like a positive thing to me. I just felt cold and empty inside, because now, I have no one to blame."

"Maybe that's because there's no one to blame," I said softly.

He nodded. "I know."

"You have to forgive her, for your own sake," I whispered against his ear. "It's the only way you'll heal."

In that moment, I was hit by the enormity of those words.

It _was_ a breakthrough, for both of us.

* * *

Thanksgiving came and went without a lot of fanfare. His parents were gone on a holiday cruise, so Edward and I had Thanksgiving dinner with Mom and Phil at their house on Lake Washington. It was beautiful, gated, and had an incredible view.

December was brutal, and it had nothing to do with the weather. Edward was working crazy hours, helping his father with a charity event that would be held after the New Year. I missed him a lot, but I was busy, too. Prepping for finals was killing me, and by mid-December, I was completely exhausted. The diner and my class load were finally taking their toll, and I found myself taking naps in the strangest of places. Rose had caught me snoring in the break room of the diner, and while doing research at the library, one of my classmates had awoken me from a particularly lovely dream that featured Edward and me having frantic sex on my apartment floor.

"God, Swan, you look exhausted. When's the last time you had a decent night's sleep?" Rose asked as she sat down at the booth.

"I slept ten hours last night," I muttered. Even now I was fighting back a yawn. Both our shifts were over, but I was too tired to walk home. I'd decided to try to get some studying done for my lit final, but the words on the page were just a big blur.

"Maybe you're getting the flu," Rose said.

"I can't have the flu. I have finals."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at me just as Claire arrived with my burger. I got a whiff of the onions and mustard, and suddenly, my stomach lurched.

"Bella?"

I covered my mouth and raced to the bathroom.

* * *

"Definitely the flu," Rose said softly. She'd driven me home and forced me to rest on my couch. The cold washcloth against my forehead felt like heaven.

"I guess," I muttered tiredly. "That's the third time this week I've thrown up."

Rosalie grew quiet, and I opened one eye.

"What?"

"Umm…" Rosalie was never speechless. Ever. "You had your period, right?"

_What a weird question. _

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean _am I sure_? I'm twenty-three years old. I think I'm capable of determining if I had my period."

She nodded once, and I placed the washcloth over my face.

_Heaven._

"I'm going to run down to the drugstore for you. Pick up some aspirin and…stuff. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm going to try to sleep."

She took my keys so that she could get in without knocking, and I heard the soft click of the lock as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I opened my eyes to find Rosalie standing over me.

"Holy crap!" I gasped.

She smirked. "Feeling better?"

I tried to catch my breath. "Yes, but you just scared the shit out of me. Why are you hovering?"

"Sorry. You really feel better?"

"Well, the nausea's gone, I think. I don't know, let me get up."

I struggled to my feet, and once I found my balance, I was happy to find that my stomach wasn't doing somersaults.

"Much better," I said with a relieved smile.

"Fantastic," she said, thrusting a box into my hands. "Go pee on this."

I looked down at the rectangular box in my hands.

And just like that, the nausea was back.

* * *

**So...this chapter? lol. Let me know what you think!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Happy birthday to cebgirl!**

**To answer some questions that I keep seeing in reviews: **

**No, you didn't miss a second love scene. They only had sex once. **

**According to my research (which was verified by some wonderful readers), it is possible to have a period, or something that resembles it, early in your pregnancy. **

**Edward and Bella met in early November. It's now mid-December.**

* * *

Chapter 12

* * *

The doctor's words hung in the air.

_8 weeks along._

How could three little words be so frightening and exciting, all at the same time?

"Bella?"

I turned my head toward my best friend.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I nodded. I mean, the doctor said I was okay. Great, even. My pulse rate was a little high, but he said that was normal, given the circumstances.

To say I was freaked out was the understatement of the century.

_About 25-30% of pregnant women experience some type of spotting or bleeding in early pregnancy._

The doctor hadn't told me anything I hadn't read on WebMD all morning. After peeing on four sticks and getting the same result, I'd laid in bed and stared at my computer screen in morbid fascination. I read story after story, featuring mothers who'd received the shock of their lives when they found out they were pregnant, despite the fact they'd had their periods. Like me, they had no idea that was even possible.

Renee must have skipped that particular detail during our various sex talks.

"Edward is going to flip his shit," Rosalie whispered under her breath.

Funny, that was the one fear I didn't have. Edward wouldn't flip his shit at all.

He'd be thrilled.

Ecstatic.

I hoped.

My confidence slipped a little throughout the day, so by the time he arrived at my apartment for dinner, I was a complete basket case. He was eating his burger, talking excitedly about the charity event coming up, while I sat there, absent-mindedly dipping my fries into ketchup.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Is something on your mind?"

Babies. Diapers. Breast feeding.

"You could say that, yeah."

"Want to talk about it?"

I nodded. "Yes, but it can wait until after dinner."

"Aren't you going to eat your burger?"

I shook my head, and he sighed.

"Okay," he said, dropping his napkin onto the table and rising to his feet. He offered me his hand. "Let's talk."

I took a deep breath and let him lead me toward the couch. Grabbing my blanket, I wrapped it around us as he held me close.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Were we ready for this? Was _he_? He'd just lost his daughter. Was he ready to have another child? With me?

And that's when I reminded myself that it didn't matter if we were ready. This was happening, and I had to tell him.

"Edward, I'm pregnant."

His face turned to stone, and my stomach dropped.

_No…_

"You're…you're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"With my baby?"

I frowned.

Edward rubbed his hands over his face as he began to ramble. "I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's just…we haven't known each other that long, and you might have had a boyfriend before we met, and we only had sex once, so before I get excited, I just…"

"This baby is yours," I assured him.

His eyes widened, and then his face split into the most adorable smile.

"We're having a baby," he whispered.

I nodded.

Edward laughed happily and hugged me tight. "When did you find out?"

"This afternoon."

I told him all about throwing up and the exhaustion, and how Rose had stood by my side the entire time.

"I know I should have included you," I said. "I just…didn't want to get your hopes up. I wanted to be sure. The doctor down at the clinic said I needed to find an OB-GYN, and I should do it soon because they'll want to prescribe vitamins..."

Edward was just staring at me with wonder.

"We're having a baby."

I laughed. "Yeah, we are."

His smile was soft as he placed his hand against my tummy.

"Edward, the baby's the size of a pea right now."

"I know, I just…" he swallowed convulsively, and when he looked up at me, his eyes were swimming in tears. "Are you happy, Bella?"

"I'm a thousand different things," I admitted. "I'm happy. Scared. Anxious. I want to be a good mom, you know. It isn't like I had the best role model, so that worries me. I'll probably have to cut back on my classes and my shifts at the diner."

"You can quit the diner, Bella."

I'd been anticipating his. "Edward, I have to work."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I can't work."

"Bella, you could slip."

"I could slip on something right here in my own kitchen."

"That's another thing. About this apartment…"

I'd been anticipating this, too.

I held up my hand, and he pressed his lips into a thin line.

"If you're going to start dictating where I work and where I live, we're going to have problems, and problems aren't good for my blood pressure. And high blood pressure isn't good for the baby."

He smirked. "Are you going to use that same argument for the next nine months? Because if so, you'll win every time."

"I like winning."

We laughed, and he leaned close, kissing me softly.

"I'll be a good dad, Bella."

"I have no doubt about that."

"And you'll be a great mother," he whispered. "I know you will."

Closing my eyes, I rested my head against his shoulder. I was thankful that he'd taken the news so well. Naturally, I was still scared to death, but at least I wasn't alone.

"It's funny how things work out, isn't it?" he murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"Just…the cosmic events that had to take place to bring us to this moment. Some of them were horrible. When we met, we were both so heartbroken and lonely, and now…"

_We don't have to be alone anymore._

"This baby won't replace Chrissy. I know that," he continued softly. "Chrissy was the very best parts of me and of Lauren. It was like God had taken all of our decent qualities and just molded them into this one beautiful little girl. She was unspoiled perfection, and I miss her so much, Bella. There are moments that I think I hear her cry, or hear her say my name, and for that split second, I'm happy. It's one of the few times I'm ever happy now. The only other time I feel that kind of joy is whenever I'm with you."

He gently brushed my hair away from my eyes. "I told you that I was a terrible husband, but I was a great father. Maybe someday, you'll give me the chance to try to be good at both."

My heartbeat quickened.

"Not now," he whispered reassuringly, "but someday."

Edward dipped his head and kissed me softly.

"Someday," I promised.

* * *

**I know this is a short chapter, but I'd rather give you a shorter chapter than no chapter at all. **

**See you soon!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Sweet readers, I have to give you a warning. I can't write nine months of preggers Bella. I've done that so many times (with Songbird, especially). So, time is really going to start moving along.**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

* * *

They say that pregnancy is the time in a woman's life when she feels the most beautiful. Something about those surging hormones and the constant reminder that a new life is growing inside of you. A woman's body changes, and while you may feel fat and gross and completely undesirable, the father of your child will find you irresistible.

I had no idea if any of that was true, but if the look on Edward's face was any indication, that particular study was accurate because the man _could not_ _stop touching me._

Last night, for instance, I finally had the chance to meet his entire family. We had dinner at his parents' house, and Esme and Carlisle (as they insisted I call them) were quite possibly the sweetest people I've ever met. They both hugged me before I could even walk through the door, and I was immediately struck by the compassion and goodness that just radiated from them. It was no wonder that Edward had been such a good father, because he had the perfect role model in Carlisle. And Esme…I could only pray that I turn out to be that kind of mother for my child. Yes, they were insanely rich, but there was nothing pretentious about them. She didn't bring in a chef or serve some gourmet food that I couldn't pronounce. We had fried chicken and mashed potatoes, and it was cozy and homey and just…nice.

Of course, I had a hard time concentrating on the food, because Edward's hand had rested on my thigh under the table.

_All night long._

It was just my first trimester, and those crazy, horny, pregnancy hormones weren't supposed to kick in until later, but my body must have missed that memo.

I wanted him.

Badly.

Edward wanted me, too.

He made no secret of it.

And maybe it wasn't the pregnancy. Maybe it was the fact that we'd only had sex once, and we both vividly remembered how fantastic that one night had been.

Something had to happen, and soon.

His therapist was still hesitant to give us the go-ahead, which I understood, but at the same time, I couldn't help but think that having a baby together is far more life-changing than having sex, and making love with your partner can only help strengthen and solidify the bond you already share.

Yes, I was trying to justify jumping him.

Sue me.

The sexual tension, combined with the mommy hormones, could also be blamed for our recent arguments. He kept suggesting I move out of my apartment and quit my job. While I agreed that leaving my one-bedroom was probably a necessity, giving up my shifts at the diner was not. I was determined to work as long as I could. The spring semester was starting in January, and tuition was due.

So, we compromised.

Sort of.

"I don't understand why we're looking at this apartment," Edward grumbled as we walked up the cobblestone path leading to the building. "I have a house, Bella. A big house, with lots of rooms. More rooms than we'll ever need."

"That's your house," I reminded him.

"It could be your house, too. Just say the word, and I'll have a key made."

I sighed just as the building manager stepped out to greet us. He introduced himself as Paul and handed us a key.

"The apartment is upstairs?" Edward asked.

"All of the two bedrooms are on the second floor," Paul explained. "Rent is $900, and I'll need a deposit."

There was a distinct ringing in my ears.

"Nine hundred….dollars?"

Paul nodded. "Deposit is half that, and rent is due on the first of each month."

I felt foolish. The rent here was nearly double what I was paying now. There was no way I could afford rent and tuition and a baby.

With a sigh, I placed the key back in his hand.

"Thanks, anyway," I heard Edward say.

He placed his arm around me and led me back to the car.

And that's when I stared to bawl.

"Bella," he whispered softly, pulling me close and holding me tight. "Sweetheart, it's okay. We'll work it out. Please don't cry."

Sniffling quietly, I nodded and raised my head. He looked so worried about me, and I knew I had to get it together.

"I'm sorry."

He kissed my forehead. "Don't be, baby. Listen, there's another place I want you to see. Will you keep an open mind and take a look? I promise it's in your price range."

"Okay."

We climbed into the car, and he began to drive. I didn't really know my way around Seattle too well, but I recognized this street as the one leading to his parents' house. But, instead of driving there, he took a left and pressed a button at an iron gate. The doors swung open, and he drove through.

The house was huge. White and yellow with a circular driveway. The front yard was gigantic, too, with a beautiful fountain in the middle of the lawn.

"Is this a joke?"

He looked a little upset. "A joke?"

"You can't seriously think I can afford something like this."

His face relaxed.

"Well, it's in your price range," he said.

"Edward, you and I must have very different opinions about my price range."

He chuckled and reached for my hand.

"Bella, I want this to be our house."

My eyes widened as I looked between his handsome face and the beautiful house.

"If you like it, that is."

I didn't understand. "But you have a house."

"I know, but that house holds a lot of memories for me. Some of them are wonderful, but most aren't. Eleazar actually suggested it. He thinks I need a clean slate to truly begin to move on with my life. My life with you. Besides, Lauren picked every piece of furniture and every scrap of fabric in that house. I love you, and I want your touch on everything in my life."

I didn't know what to say.

"This is close to my parents, so I thought that might make you more comfortable, having them close by. It's a great, safe neighborhood. The perfect place to raise our babies."

I smiled. "_Babies_? Plural?"

"If I'm lucky, yeah."

He turned his body toward mine. "Bella, I love that you're independent and strong, and I would never want that to change. But I love you, and I love our baby, and I want to give you the world. I know I have to pick my battles, but if you're determined to stay at the diner and pay your own tuition, at least let me do this. Let me give you a safe place to sleep at night. There are times I'll have to be away from you, sometimes for days, and I'll lose my mind if I think for one second that you're not protected."

I swallowed down my emotion and looked at the beautiful house. It wasn't quite as large as his parents' place, but it was close. My house back in Forks was a cracker box compared to this mansion. Could I really live here?

I glanced at his anxious face. He was so determined to take care of me, and I had to remind myself daily that this wasn't a bad thing. Edward loved me, and he loved our baby. Of course he wanted to protect us.

How could I possibly deny him?

"Can we take a look inside?"

His breathtaking smile stopped my heart.

* * *

Edward called the realtor, and she arrived right away, eager to give a tour of the house. It had six bedrooms, three baths, and the biggest kitchen I'd ever seen. Edward pointed out little features that made the house unique, and it was impossible not to get swept up in his enthusiasm.

The realtor excused herself to take a call while Edward led me to another room.

"I was thinking this could be your office," he said, opening one of the doors. "It has a bay window, and from here, you can see Matthews Beach. We could put a desk there, and you could write your first novel, and your second…"

I giggled. It really was a beautiful view. As I stared out the window, I couldn't keep from thinking out loud.

"All of this is a little overwhelming," I whispered.

Edward wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me close to his chest.

"I know, baby."

"I mean, you saw where I grew up."

"But you had a happy childhood, right?"

"I did, yeah."

"So did I, and you saw my parents' estate. That's why I think it doesn't matter where you grow up. The size of the house doesn't matter, Bella. It's the people, and the pictures on the mantle, and the cookies baked in the kitchen, and the bedtime stories. These are just walls, Bella."

"Expensive walls."

"But it's still just walls. It just wood. It's just a shell until you fill it with the things you love. Then it's a home."

His nose glided along my ear, and his tender touch and his sweet words were doing crazy things to my body.

"Say yes," he whispered.

I tilted my neck to the side as his lips blazed a trail along my skin. Reaching behind me, I threaded my fingers into his hair. I tugged gently, drawing him closer, and he groaned.

"I want you," Edward murmured. "We could make the realtor an offer, and then I could lay you down on this carpet…"

His voice was rough and low, and I whimpered with need just as the realtor shouted our names from the bottom of the stairs. Edward promised we'd be right down.

"We won't know what to do when we actually have sex on a bed."

"I'll know what to do, Bella."

Everything clinched. _Everything._

"I'll make you a deal," I whispered as he continued nuzzling my neck, sending shivers up my spine. "I'll let you buy me this house, on one condition."

"Name it."

I twisted around in his arms. His eyes were intense and blazing as he gazed down at me.

"Show me you know what to do on a bed."

His breath hitched. "Done."

"Tonight."

"I was thinking now."

"Even better," I whispered.

* * *

**:)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

* * *

I'd barely stepped inside my apartment before Edward lifted me into his arms. He kicked the door shut, turned quickly, and pinned me against it. My legs wrapped like ivy around his waist as we kissed frantically. We'd just suffered through the longest fifteen minutes of our lives, and at one point, I seriously thought he was going to have pull the car over to the side of the road. I wouldn't have cared. Beds were overrated, anyway.

Doors were nice, though.

The bed was just too far away.

"Couch," I whispered, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me to the couch.

"Sit."

Clearly, I was only capable of one-syllable words, but he obeyed.

I reached for his zipper, and within seconds, his jeans were down his legs and tossed aside. He pulled his shirt over his head, and I sighed a little.

He was just perfect.

And he was mine.

Very slowly and deliberately, I began to unbutton my blouse. He was panting, his eyes watching every move I made. With each button, he became a little more restless, as if he was going to pounce at any moment.

But I didn't want him to pounce.

I had a plan.

My blouse fell away, and I watched him lick his lips as I crawled into his lap.

"This isn't the bed, baby."

I smiled and leaned down, letting my tongue trail along the shape of his mouth.

"I can't wait," I whispered. "You can take me to bed later. You can be slow and sweet and tender…later. Right now…"

I rocked my hips against his, and he groaned my name.

Heaven.

_Home._

We stilled, both of us breathless and gazing into each other's eyes. I loved this man more than I'd ever dreamed I could love another. He was kind and sweet. He was gentle when he had to be and rough when I _needed_ him to be. His blazing eyes were filled with so much desire, so much want, and I knew that meeting him wasn't some cosmic accident, like he'd suggested.

It was fate.

Thank god we had all night.

"Baby, you feel so…" His words were breathless against my throat. I felt powerful, knowing that I was the one making him breathless. I was the one making him groan, and that it would always be me. And it would always be him.

His mouth crashed against mine, kissing me hungrily, until my body tightened around his. Pleasure ripped through me, and he swallowed my whimpers with his kiss.

My fingers toyed with his hair as we tried to catch our breath. And then, the most amazing thing happened.

We laughed.

"We didn't even make it to the bedroom," Edward grinned.

"Eleazar's going to be so mad at us, you realize."

"Screw him," he said with a chuckle. "We needed that."

"Obviously."

"I need more, Bella."

"So do I."

He smiled mischievously, and my entire body trembled.

"I'll race you to the bedroom," he whispered.

* * *

I was awoken in the middle of the night with a warm hand gliding along my stomach and soft kisses along my shoulder.

"It's never been like this," Edward whispered against my skin. "I've never been this insatiable. I can't stop touching you, Bella. I can't stop wanting you. I'll never stop."

"Never stop," I said softly.

He groaned against my ear, caressing and massaging me softly as he began to move. Reaching behind me, I grabbed onto his thigh, letting it anchor me. Our labored breaths mingled in the air.

"I'll never stop," he murmured.

"Forever…" I breathed.

Edward growled low against my neck.

"Yes, baby. Forever."

After our bodies calmed, he pressed soft kisses along my neck.

"Will it always be like this, Bella?"

I smiled. "What little research I've done on pregnancy seems to suggest yes. I'll apparently be a walking hormone with an insatiable sexual appetite."

He chuckled. "That's not what I meant, but yes, that'll be fantastic."

Twisting around his arms, I gently caressed his face. Edward leaned into my touch.

"What did you mean?"

"Will it always feel like this when you touch me?"

"How does it feel?" I whispered.

He pressed a kiss to my palm.

"It feels like home," he murmured.

Sighing softly, I kissed him tenderly.

"You feel like home, too."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

* * *

Edward's parents stared at us, their mouths hanging open in absolute shock. His mom's face was a mixture of joy and disbelief, while his father looked as if he was going to have a heart attack.

"You're having a baby?" Carlisle asked quietly.

I assumed this question was posed to me, so I nodded. He didn't see me, though. His eyes were fixed on his son.

"Edward, this is—"

"A surprise," Esme whispered. "Not that we aren't happy for you. Babies are blessings."

"Blessings, yes," his father nodded. "But . . ."

Bowing my head, I struggled to keep my tears at bay.

_They aren't happy for us._

Edward squeezed my hand in silent encouragement.

"We want you to be happy for us," Edward said softly. "We're aware that the timing could be better, but I love her, and she loves me. We're buying the Perry's house just down the street so that we can be close to the family, but if you can't support this—if you can't support our decision to have a family—then I'll be happy to call my realtor and make other arrangements."

Stunned silence filled the room.

"Bella, please don't misinterpret our shock for disapproval," Esme said, smiling at me. "You're lovely, and it's obvious how much the two of you care for one another. It's just . . ."

"We're just concerned," her husband continued quietly. "It's so soon after Chrissy's death. You've barely had time to grieve, son, and now you're building a new family, with someone you barely know. What will people think? What will our investors say?"

"That's what you're worried about?" Edward sneered. "What people will _think_?"

"It's something to consider, Edward."

"Not to mention Bella's reputation," Esme said.

She didn't have to explain that one. I anticipated that people would assume I was a gold-digger. I just hadn't expected it from his parents. This was why I'd wanted to keep living in my apartment, but we'd compromised.

Of course, I couldn't tell them about our compromise.

"We're not seeking your permission," Edward said, his voice low and firm. "We are simply informing you that you're going to be grandparents again, and that Bella and I are going to be a family."

Pulling me by the hand, Edward and I rose to our feet.

"Mom, you always said you'd wished I'd waited for love, and I've found that with Bella. I know it hasn't been traditional and it probably isn't sane, but she makes me happy. The fact that we're having a baby is just a beautiful bonus. Whether you're happy for us is completely up to you."

Dumbfounded and speechless, his parents didn't bother to walk us out.

* * *

With the lukewarm reception we'd received from Edward's parents, I called Renee and told her we were on our way to the house. I figured we might as well get the shit storm out of the way so that I could concentrate on more important things—like registering for spring classes and packing my shit in anticipation of the move.

Oh, and having a baby.

You know, important stuff. Things that actually matter.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered as we drove down the highway.

"Don't be."

"Well, I am," he said, sighing. "You need to know that their issues are with me. It really has nothing to do with you."

"They think I trapped you."

He shook his head. "No, they don't think that, but others will, and that's their concern. My parents have always cared a little too much about what people think of them."

I'd grown accustomed to disappointing my mother, so I wasn't really too concerned about her reaction to this news, but I hated that this baby and our relationship had caused a rift between Edward and his parents.

"Bella, it'll be fine," he said, squeezing my hand where it rested on the console. "They just need some time to get used to the idea."

"What if they don't?"

He shrugged. "Then they don't, but that won't happen. There's nothing Esme loves more than spoiling her grandchildren. It's going to be fine, I promise."

I prayed he was right.

* * *

While I hadn't been worried about Renee's reaction, I had to admit that I was a little surprised when she threw open the front door and hugged me tight.

"You're engaged! Oh my god, I'm so happy for you!"

Edward nervously cleared his throat while I flushed.

"No, Mom, we aren't engaged."

"Not yet, anyway," Edward whispered.

I tried to ignore how those words made my heart race just a little faster.

"Well, something's going on," Mom said, grabbing my hand and hustling us inside, leading us toward the living room. "Are you hungry? I could get Carmen to make us some lunch."

Carmen was my mother's cook, which was a good thing for Phil, because Renee Swan used to burn toast.

Renee _Dwyer._

"No, thanks."

"I'd offer you a drink, but we don't keep alcohol in the house—which is a pity for you, my sweet daughter, because you look like you could use one."

She offered us seats on the leather sofa.

"I could use a drink, but that won't be happening for a while," I muttered.

_Oops._

Maybe she wouldn't catch it.

"You're pregnant?"

I sighed, and Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"We're having a baby, yes."

My mother's eyes never left my face. "But you'll finish school?"

I blinked. She was so calm and quiet. "Yes, I'll still graduate in May."

Relief etched her face.

"And you're happy?"

"I am. We are."

She finally acknowledged Edward. "You are?"

"I couldn't be happier. I love your daughter very much, and I love our child."

She smiled wistfully at each of us. "You're ready for the accusing fingers? The gossip? The poor college student snagging one of Seattle's wealthiest bachelors and trapping him into a relationship? A man who lost his daughter only weeks ago?"

This time, it was me who squeezed his hand. My mom wasn't being cruel. She was just being honest.

"Life is all about second chances, isn't it?" Edward whispered softly, and my mother's radiant smile was her only reply.

We told her all about the house, and she was beyond thrilled that I was moving out of my one-bedroom apartment.

"Do you still have your cat?"

"His name is Oreo, and yes."

"You can't change the litter box, Bella! You know that right? You could catch toxo . . . something."

"Toxoplasmosis," Edward said with a grin. "And yes, she knows. We've already discussed it, and I have litter box duty from now on."

She sighed with relief. It was weird, seeing mom be all protective and concerned. It'd been a long time since I'd seen that side of her, and it gave me a small sliver of hope that maybe I wouldn't completely screw this up.

While she and Edward continued talking about the new house, I realized something very important. This baby would depend on me for everything, and while Edward would ensure that our baby never wanted for anything, it was up to me for the next nine months. The driven, headstrong, independent Bella would have to take advice from her mother, listen to her doctor, and let her handsome boyfriend change the cat litter. She'd probably have to cut back on her hours at the diner, and she'd have to organize her time so that she could juggle her class work without putting too much pressure on herself or her body.

For so long, I'd only been responsible for me.

Those days were gone.

"Are you okay," Edward whispered against my ear.

"Yes, why?"

"You're holding your stomach."

I looked down to find my hand placed protectively over my tummy.

Instinctual.

Maternal.

"I'm perfect," I said, smiling into his shining eyes.

And for the first time in my life, I truly believed it.

* * *

The first trimester passed without too much excitement. I'd been blessed with minimal nausea, which made life infinitely easier. I was still sleeping like the dead, but that didn't bother me too much. Hard habits were hard to break, though, and I'd catch myself trying to pick-up extra shifts at the diner or staying up too late studying. Those were the nights that my sweet boyfriend would gently pry the book or laptop out of my hand and lead me to the bedroom. It didn't hurt that he coerced me with sweet whispers and hot kisses, which was usually followed by toe-curling sex.

I wasn't complaining.

My OB-GYN was Dr. Victoria Rhodes. She was firm but kind, and as long as I took my vitamins and kept my blood pressure under control, she was a happy camper.

As Edward had predicted, his parents had come around. It hadn't taken long, and after a long apology filled with "It wasn't you, Bella," and "We just want the two of you to be happy," they were totally onboard and even bought all the furnishings for the nursery.

I was sitting in the living room, gazing at the pyramid of boxes stacked beside the door. Edward had hired movers, which was fine with me. Still, it was a little hard to see my belongings stuffed into cardboard boxes. This apartment, while small, had been my home since I'd arrived in Seattle.

I'd miss it.

My eyes trailed down to the carpet, and I smiled.

"I know what you're thinking," Edward said as he walked into the living room. He'd just climbed out of the shower, and his skin was glistening with water. He looked so good with my towel tied around his waist.

I sighed. _How did I get so lucky?_

"What am I thinking?" I asked.

"You're thinking we should rip up this carpet and take it with us."

I giggled.

"No, but now that you mention it . . ."

He grinned and let his towel fall to the floor. My breath hitched as my eyes traveled over his body.

"We have some time before the movers arrive," he whispered, walking toward the couch and offering me his hand. "What do you say, baby? Once more, for old time's sake?"

I scrambled to the floor as he dropped to his knees, and his mouth was on mine in an instant. My fingers dove into his wet hair, pulling him against my body as he lowered me to the floor. Panting against my mouth, his hands tore through the buttons of my blouse, ripping the fabric as I quickly removed my jeans and panties.

"Please," I whimpered.

"I love you," he whispered as his hand slid along my thigh.

"I love you."

* * *

"I'll miss this place," I murmured breathlessly. My head was cradled against his chest as we stared up at the ceiling.

Edward chuckled. "We'll have wall-to-wall carpeting in the new house, if you want."

"Better not. We can barely keep our hands off each other now. Could you imagine if we had the daily temptation of _carpet_?"

We laughed and kissed softly. When we pulled away, his green eyes were brimming with affection for me.

"I fell in love with you that night," Edward said quietly. "In that one moment, you truly gave me a reason to live. And now . . ."

He placed his hand on my stomach, and I smiled.

"In that moment, you gave me a reason to live, too," I murmured.

* * *

**The epilogue is next. :)**


	16. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

"Say yes, baby."

Groaning, I buried my face against his neck and scraped my teeth across his skin. We were breathless and sweaty, with my legs wrapped around his waist. My bare back scraped across the carpet, and while this position wasn't nearly as comfortable as it used to be, we made it work.

We had a multi-million dollar home and a luxurious bed with sheets of Egyptian cotton.

But there was nothing quite like the carpet of our bedroom floor.

"Edward, please . . ."

"Say yes, Bella. Say yes, and I'll make you see stars . . ."

To an outside observer, this would seem cruel—withholding orgasms until I accepted his terms. But after three years of marriage, we were master negotiators, and this had become a game to us. We'd always talked about having more kids, but now that Masen was a toddler, getting me pregnant had become Edward's mission in life.

Not that I minded.

But sometimes, it was fun to pretend that I was actually putting up a fight.

"Yes," I panted against his ear, and he growled triumphantly, sending us both over the edge.

After a few minutes, I couldn't hold my giggle any longer.

"Why are you laughing, baby?"

"You think you really closed a deal there, don't you, Mr. Cullen?"

"You better believe it," he said, grinning at me as he lifted me into his lap. "You finally said yes."

"Hmm." I wrapped my arms around his neck and rubbed my nose along his. "I figure it's useless to try to fight it. I mean, how could I ever resist the powerful, tenacious negotiation tactics of Edward Cullen?"

"You've done pretty well so far," he mumbled.

"Not really, I just wanted to be sure before I told you. I was sort of enjoying these nightly sex-a-thons."

His eyes widened. "Tell me what?"

Grinning, I placed his hand against my stomach.

"I found out this morning," I whispered. "Congratulations, Daddy."

He smiled that glorious, beautiful smile that always made my heart skip a beat. "We're pregnant?"

I nodded. "About six weeks."

Edward pulled me close, holding me tightly and whispering how much he loved me. How he was going to be the very best father, and how, this time, he really, really wanted a daughter.

I did, too.

Not that Masen wasn't the most adorable little boy in the world. He was a carbon-copy of his father, except for the big brown eyes. He loved spaghetti and books, and was absolutely spoiled—just as Edward had predicted. On Friday nights, he alternated staying between the two sets of grandparents, which was why we were able to have tonight's marathon sex session without our toddler begging to sleep between us.

But I was ready for a little girl, and so was Edward.

So much healing had taken place over the past three years. Not long after we moved into the house, I'd convinced Edward it was time to talk to Lauren. Thankfully, his therapist agreed, and on the six month anniversary of Chrissy's death, Edward and his ex-wife arranged a private memorial at their daughter's gravesite. She'd been shocked to find that the waitress from the diner was actually Edward's new girlfriend, but she'd been polite and gracious and wished us well. After the memorial, the Cullens had invited Lauren back to Carlisle and Esme's. While I'd been assured that my presence was more than welcome, I'd excused myself and rested in Carlisle's study while the family and Lauren had an open and honest discussion about the accident. There were many tears, and by the end of the afternoon, promises had been made to try to forgive each other. It was a giant step in healing, and I couldn't have been prouder of Edward and the rest of the family for taking that leap.

After graduation, I'd been offered a freelance position at the _Seattle Times_. I enjoyed my work, and freelancing allowed me the time I craved with my new baby.

And my new husband.

Edward had proposed as soon as we were unpacked and settled in the new house. We were living together and having a child, so getting married seemed like a natural progression in the grand scheme of things. The small ceremony had taken place at the Cullen estate with just our families and a few close friends. Rosalie and Emmett were still dating and didn't seem in a hurry to make things official. Alice and her husband were living in Los Angeles where she was a stylist to the stars—just like she'd always wanted to be.

Cullen Technologies had expanded globally, and while Edward was often out of town, he made sure that he was never away from us for more than three days. If a longer trip was necessary, Masen and I would join him, and we'd turn it into a little family vacation.

My relationship with my mother was strong. Phil treated her like a princess, and while it was still hard at times to see her with a man who wasn't my father, I'd shake it off and concentrate on the present moment. She was healthy, happy, and sober. In all the ways she'd failed me as a mother, she was more than making up for it with Masen.

I'd learned I could forgive most anything, as long as my child was happy and loved.

And he was.

* * *

"Sweepy, Daddy," Masen grumbled as Edward lifted him into his arms.

Our little boy was tuckered out from his busy weekend with Renee and Phil. We'd considered taking him straight home for a nap, but Mase had insisted on stopping by the diner to hug _another_ grandfather.

"I'll pack his lunch to-go," Billy said, grinning at me.

Masen buried his head against Edward's shoulder as we walked back to the car. It was a pretty day, so we found ourselves taking our time, enjoying the rare Seattle sunshine. Suddenly, Edward stopped, and I was surprised to find us standing on the Washington Street Bridge.

My eyes filled with tears as I watched my husband step close to the ledge and look down at the water. He wasn't standing close enough to cause me to panic, but it was close enough to remind me of just how far he'd come.

"You saved me," Edward whispered.

"You saved me, too."

Our circumstances couldn't have been more different, but that night, we'd been just the same—lost, heartbroken, and desperate for salvation.

In that moment, our lives had changed forever.

I was realizing that life was full of those little moments. Joyful moments. Heartbreaking moments. Moments that are inconsequential, and some that take your breath away. Some moments you create, and some just find you.

They walk into your diner and leave their Rolex next to their coffee mug.

You find them standing on the edge of a snowy bridge.

You find them three years later—with your son snoring on his father's shoulder, while your second child grows inside you.

And, in that moment, you are healed.

* * *

**Thank you so much for the support you've shown this little story. I know some of you are disappointed that it isn't longer, but I hope you're happy.**

**Again, thank you for the reviews, recs, and love. I have the best readers in the world.**

**XXOO**

**SydneyAlice**


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